MONDAY
Cooking for Bob is such a joy! Today, I made angel food cake. The recipe said to “beat 12 eggs separately,” so I borrowed extra bowls from the neighbors and got cracking. Literally.
TUESDAY
Bob asked for fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said “serve without dressing,” so I didn’t wear any. Imagine my shock when Bob walked in with a friend! I suppose I should start reading the whole recipe first.
WEDNESDAY
Rice night. The instructions said to “wash thoroughly before steaming.” So I hopped in the bath. The rice tasted the same, but at least I was squeaky clean.
THURSDAY
Bob wanted salad again, so I tried a new recipe. It said: “Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.” That’s when Bob caught me rolling around in the garden. I’m still not sure what I did wrong.
FRIDAY
I found a cookie recipe that said to “put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it.” I did — but when I came back, everything looked exactly the same. I think the recipe was defective.
SATURDAY
Bob went grocery shopping and brought home a chicken. He told me to “dress it for Sunday.” Not sure why he looked so shocked when I put a tiny sweater on it. Also, he keeps counting to ten around me now.
SUNDAY
Bob’s parents came for dinner, and I wanted to serve roast. But all I could find was hamburger. I had a lightbulb moment — I popped the hamburger in the oven and set it to “roast.” It still came out as hamburger. Very disappointing.
GOOD NIGHT, DEAR DIARY
What a week it’s been! I can’t wait for tomorrow — I’ve got a new recipe I want to try out on Bob. If only we had a bigger oven, I could finally surprise him with that Chocolate Moose.