Ear Care to Prevent Infections

Proper ear hygiene is important to prevent ear infections. Here are some simple tips to keep your ears healthy:

1. Keep ears dry – After showering or swimming, gently dry your ears with a towel. Avoid using cotton swabs deep inside the ear, as they can push wax further in or cause injury.

2. Avoid inserting objects – Do not insert any sharp or small objects into your ears. This includes hairpins, pens, or even fingers.

3. Clean the outer ear only – Use a damp cloth to clean around the outside of the ear. Let earwax work naturally; it helps protect your ear canal.

4. Use earplugs in dirty or loud environments – When in dusty places or around loud machinery, use protective earplugs.

5. Treat allergies and colds – Nasal congestion can affect the ears. Treat any colds or allergies early to reduce pressure and fluid buildup.

6. Visit a doctor if you feel discomfort – If you experience pain, discharge, or hearing loss, consult a healthcare professional. Do not try to treat ear problems on your own.

By following these steps, you can help prevent ear infections and maintain good ear health.

A slick city lawyer was cruising through the countryside

A slick city lawyer was cruising through the countryside in his shiny BMW when he noticed a picturesque farm, complete with a tree heavy with ripe red apples. The fruit looked too good to resist.

Without a second thought, he pulled over, hopped the fence, and picked the biggest, shiniest apple he could find. He’d just taken a big, juicy bite when an old farmer rumbled up on a tractor, eyes squinting under a wide-brimmed hat.

“Afternoon,” the farmer said, voice calm but firm. “That there’s my tree, and those are my apples.”

The lawyer chuckled smugly. “Do you know who I am? I’m one of the top attorneys in the city. I could sue you six ways from Sunday for stopping me from enjoying one lousy apple.”

The farmer scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Well, son, we don’t go in much for suing around these parts. We follow the ‘Country Code.’”

“The Country Code?” the lawyer asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yup,” said the farmer. “Real simple. We take turns kickin’ each other until someone gives up. That’s how we settle things out here.”

Thinking this would be an easy win, the lawyer rolled up his sleeves and nodded. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

The farmer climbed down from his tractor, shuffled over in his thick, steel-toed boots, and with all the force of years behind him, swung a boot straight into the lawyer’s stomach.

The lawyer collapsed to the ground, wheezing, clutching his gut like he’d just been hit by a wrecking ball. Several long, painful moments later, he managed to stagger to his feet, face red and teeth clenched.

“Alright, old man,” he growled. “Now it’s my turn!”

The farmer tipped his hat with a big grin and said, “Nah, I give up. Enjoy the apple.”

A third-grade teacher was having a tough time with a boy in her class

A third-grade teacher was having a tough time with a boy in her class.
“Teacher, I should be in the fourth grade! I’m smarter than my sister, and she’s in fourth!” the boy insisted.

The teacher, tired of arguing, took him to the principal. The principal decided to test him with a few fourth-grade questions.

Principal: “What is 3+3?”

Boy: “6.”

Principal: “What is 6+6?”

Boy: “12.”

The boy answered every question correctly. Impressed, the principal told the teacher to move him up to the fourth grade.

But the teacher had her doubts. “Can I ask him some of my questions?” she asked.

The principal agreed.

Teacher: “What does a cow have four of that I only have two?”

Boy: “Legs!”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that I don’t have in mine?”

Boy: “Pockets!”

Teacher: “What starts with ‘C’, ends with ‘T’, is hairy, oval, and contains a sweet liquid?”

Boy: “Coconut!”

The principal shifted in his chair.

Teacher: “What goes in hard and dry, then comes out soft and sticky?”

Boy: “Chewing gum!”

The principal wiped his forehead.

Teacher: “You tie me down to keep me up. What am I?”

Boy: “A tent!”

The principal was getting nervous.

Teacher: “What gets bigger when you pull it, fits neatly between two things, and can save your life?”

Boy: “A seatbelt!”

The principal sighed in relief.

The teacher continued, “What starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘K’, and if you don’t get it, you might use your hands?”

The principal gasped, but the boy confidently answered, “Fork!”

The principal had enough. “Okay, send this boy straight to college! I got all the answers wrong myself!”

A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck

A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck with the bed overflowing with ducks.

The officer says sternly, “Sir, you can’t have a flock of ducks wandering around downtown. Take them to the zoo immediately!”

The old man nods, agrees, and drives off.

The next day, the officer spots the same pickup truck, still full of ducks—but this time, all the ducks are wearing sunglasses.

Frustrated, the officer pulls the man over again and exclaims, “I thought I told you to take these ducks to the zoo!”

The old man grins and replies, “I did! But now the little rascals want to go to the beach!”

A police officer a stopped a motorist.

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But officer.” the man began, “I can explain.”

“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer.

“I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back…”

“But officer, I just wanted to say…

“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

A new Army recruit was on the rifle range.

A new Army recruit was on the rifle range.
He fired 50 shots and completely missed the target with every shot!

His Drill Instructor called him to attention and got in his face.

“What’s the matter with you?” shouted the DI. “Why can’t you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?”

“I was a Cable TV repair man,” replied the recruit, “and I don’t know why I can’t hit the target. Let me see…”

The man checked his rifle, checked his rifle again and then checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger and blew the end of his finger off!

“Well,” the phone man said, writhing in pain, “the bullets are leaving this end here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!”

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.

Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was. ‘It’s a period,’ he replied.

‘I can see that,’ said the teacher, ‘but what is so exciting about a period?’

‘Darned if I know,’ chirped the little boy, ‘but this morning my sister was missing one, my mother fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy!’

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”

The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee –

OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”

The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”

One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food,
she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can’t buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in her dog and she got the dog food.

The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can’t have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.

Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did.

She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you’re satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!

Today my daughter overslept

The day began when my daughter overslept, then realized she forgot to do her homework. As I drove her to school,

I snapped, “I don’t want to hear a peep out of you.”

When we arrived, she asked, “Can I talk now?”

“Okay,” I grumbled.

..

.

“I forgot my lunch.”

================================

There’s a blond and a brunette in a car.

There’s a blond and a brunette in a car.

The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat.

They’re going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don’t work.

The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don’t work and that they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop.

..

.

The blonde then replies, “Don’t worry! There’s a stop sign ahead.”

A sweet grandmother called St. Joseph’s Hospital

A sweet grandmother called St. Joseph’s Hospital and, in a soft, trembling voice, asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator replied warmly, “Of course, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”

The grandmother hesitated slightly before saying, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

“Let me check with the nurse’s station for that room. Please hold on for a moment,” the operator said.

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the line. “Good news! The nurse told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is great, her blood work is normal, and Dr. Cohen has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.”

The grandmother sighed in relief, “Thank you so much. That’s wonderful. I’ve been so worried. God bless you for giving me such good news.”

With a smile, the operator asked, “Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother replied, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302.

No one tells me anything around here!”

TRUE STORY—sometimes, you just have to ask for the information yourself!

A priest arrives at the Pearly Gates and waits in line.

A priest arrives at the Pearly Gates and waits in line.

Ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a flashy shirt, a leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter greets the cool guy, “Who are you, so I can decide if you should enter Heaven?”

The guy replies, “I’m Jack, a retired airline pilot from Houston.” Saint Peter checks his list and smiles. “Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter the Kingdom.”

Jack walks into Heaven with his robe and staff. Now it’s the priest’s turn. Standing tall, he declares, “I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary’s for the last 43 years.”

Saint Peter consults his list and says, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.”

The priest, a bit miffed, asks, “Just a moment. That man was a pilot and got a silken robe and golden staff. I only get cotton and wood. How is that fair?”

Saint Peter replies, “Here, we judge by results. When you preached, people slept. When he flew, people prayed.”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

It was this little girl’s first day at a new school

It was this little girl’s first day at a new school, and the teacher asked her what her name was.

She replied, “Happy Butt.”

The teacher said, “Honey I don’t think that’s your name. You need to go to the principal’s office and get this straightened out.”

So she went to the principal’s office and he asked, “What’s your name?”

And the little girl said, “Happy Butt.”

The principal called the girl’s mother to get this straightened out once and for all.

After getting off the phone, he looked at the little girl and said, “Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt.”

Grinning from ear to ear, the girl then exclaimed, “Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what’s the difference?!”

A Native American Applies for a Loan

The elderly Native American wanted a loan of $500, and a bank employee helped him with the application form that he needed to fill.

“What do you plan to do with the money, sir?” said the banker.

“I want to buy silver, make jewelry, and then sell it,” he answered.

“What do you have to give as collateral?” asked the man in the suit.

“I don’t know what collateral is,” replied the other one.

“It’s something that has value and can cover the amount of money that you are taking. For example: Do you have a car?”

“Yes. A 1959 Chevrolet pick-up truck,” replied the indigenous man.

Shaking his head, the employee asked: “Maybe something else, what about cattle?”

“Yes, I have a horse,” he said.

“And how old is your horse?”

“I have no idea, he has no teeth,” replied the Native American with concern.

In the end, the bank employee felt sure that this man was trustworthy and decided to lend him the $500.

Sometime later, the old man returned to the bank, pulled out a wad of bills, and said to the employee: “Here you have the payment of what I owe for the credit.”

The bank employee asked: “What do you plan to do with the rest of the money?

“I will keep it in my house,” replied the indigenous.

So the employee quickly asked: “Why don’t you deposit in my bank?”

“I have no idea what a deposit is.”

The bank employee explains: “Put your money in our bank, we will take care of it, when you need to use it, you can withdraw it.

Then the Native American surrounded the desk to approach the employee and asked: “What do you have to give as collateral?”

LOL!! He is smart and can learn fast!

We hope you enjoyed this joke and had a great laugh. Have a nice day!