Author: news

A rabbit, a fox and a bear have to enroll in the army. Neither of the 3 are very happy about it, and the only chance they have to avoid it is by being rejected during the medical exam.

As they are waiting in line at the doctor’s office, their desperation builds up untill right before it’s the rabbits turn.

The rabbit turns to the fox, “Fox, I might have a plan. B.i.te off my ear, trust me on this one!”

The fox does so, and the rabbit enters the office.

A few moments later, he gets out yelling, “I was rejected, guys!”

“Because of your ear?” they ask.

“Yes, because without it, I can’t detect the enemy as well,” says rabbit.

“Good thinking,” they say.

And with that in mind the fox turns to the bear, “R.ip my tail off!”

The bear doesn’t even hesitate and does so.

Then, the fox takes his turn in the office.

After a while he comes back yelling, “I am rejected too! Without my tail, I can’t be as sneaky and agile as I need to be.”

Now it was the bear’s turn to ask, “Quickly, guys, knock out all of my teeth, because a bear without teeth isn’t scary at all!”

The rabbit and the fox start b.ea.ting the muzzle of the bear, completly br.ea.king his face untill there is no tooth is left in his mouth.

He then proceeds to go inside the doctor’s office.

Not long after he gets out, he shouts, “Rejecwew!”

“Nice,” they say. “Because of your teeth, right?”

…

..

.

“Nwo,“ says the bear. “Too fat.”

Four women were relaxing in a sauna, each wrapped modestly in a towel.

Two were younger, one was middle-aged, and the last was a feisty senior citizen.

Suddenly, a soft beeping sound filled the air. One of the younger women tapped her forearm, silencing it. The others looked at her, intrigued.

“Oh,” she explained, “that’s my pager. I had a microchip implanted under my skin.”

Not long after, a melodic ringtone played. The second young woman casually raised her hand to her ear and started talking. When she finished, she smiled at their curious expressions.

“That was my phone,” she said. “It’s integrated into a microchip in my hand.”

The middle-aged woman chuckled nervously, glancing at her towel as if it could magically grant her a high-tech upgrade. But before she could speak, the senior citizen got up and left the sauna.

Moments later, she returned confidently, with a piece of toilet paper trailing conspicuously from her behind. The other three stared in stunned silence, eyebrows raised in confusion.

Without missing a beat, the older woman smirked and said, “Well, would you look at that… I’m receiving a fax!”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

A Blonde enters a store that sells curtains.

She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.

He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, “Fifteen inches.”

“Fifteen inches???” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”

The blonde tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for her computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, “But Miss, computers do not need curtains!”

The blonde says, “Hellllooooooooo … I’ve got Windoooooows!”

A husband walked into the police station to file a “missing person” report for his wife.

Husband: “I can’t find my wife. She went shopping and hasn’t returned.”

Inspector: “How tall is she?”

Husband: “I… never really checked.”

Inspector: “Is she slim or healthy?”

Husband: “Well, not exactly slim, but she’s healthy.”

Inspector: “What’s the color of her eyes?”

Husband: “I’ve never noticed.”

Inspector: “And her hair color?”

Husband: “It changes with the seasons.”

Inspector: “What was she wearing?”

Husband: “I’m not sure. Maybe a dress or a suit.”

Inspector: “Was she driving?”

Husband: “Yes.”

Inspector: “Can you tell me the make and color of the car?”

Husband: “It’s a black Audi A8 with a supercharged 3.0-litre V6 engine, 333 horsepower, an eight-speed Tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. It’s got full LED headlights, and there’s a faint scratch on the front left door.”

The husband then began to cry.

Inspector: “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll find your car!”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

Aurelian Temișan este în doliu, după ce a pierdut o persoană extrem de dragă.

Artistul suferă foarte tare.

‘Sunt trist. După 30 de ani de prietenie, de bucurii trăite împreună, de nunți în familii și copii care au umplut de liniște, prin gălăgia lor și au împlinit familiile, mărindu-le și arătându-ne într-un fel viitorul, a venit momentul sumbru să ne despărțim de “mama” Naționalei de Fotbal a Artiștilor, soția Prietenului meu Mihai Lazăr… prietena mea, Sanda Lazăr. Mă doare, ne doare. Drum bun Sanda, rămâi cu noi, în noi și în tot ce facem bun și frumos”, a scris Aurelian Temişan pe Facebook.

Billy Ray Cyrus and his new wife, Firerose, got married not long ago. The official start of their union was in 2022, and it ended with a small, private ceremony.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus made the choice to get a divorce for the third time after being married for 28 years. They told everyone about this in April 2022.

Once the divorce was over, Billy Ray Cyrus started dating an Australian artist named Firerose. In November 2022, they chose to tell everyone that they were engaged.

Read on to find out some specifics that people have been talking about.

Back in 2013, when Firerose was trying out for a part on Hannah Montana, the two of them had already become friends. The singer from the country remembered their first meeting very clearly.

He thought back and said, “There were a couple of old pine trees on the lot that reminded me of Tennessee. Tex, my dog, and I would go out there in the middle of the day, and he’d do his thing. We’d stretch, and I’d think about how much I missed Tennessee. On that particular day, Firerose emerged from the front door. There was almost a moment of, I don’t know, recognition. I thought, ‘This girl’s a star.’”

He continued, “She mentioned she had an audition, and I said, ‘Well, I’m sure you got the job.’”

Firerose didn’t get the part in the end, but Cyrus put her in touch with some directors.

“I just thought, well, the casting agents, the producers, the writers, they’re all on the floor of where we do Hannah Montana. And I actually said to her, ‘Don’t ever take a strange man up on this offer, but, in this case, Tex will testify that you will be totally safe,’” he said.

“‘I’m going to introduce you to a producer, and you can kind of make yourself at home and watch us rehearse and, you know, maybe it might lead to a role or just another contact at Disney.’ And, so, off me and her and Tex went back to the studio. And I think she met a lot of the cast and met the producers, writers. And, in some ways, well, in a lot of ways, we became friends,” the crooner shared.

Before Cyrus asked Firerose to be more than friends after his split at the start of last year, they were just friends. In August 2022, not long after Cyrus proposed, she moved in with him.

“Billy looked at me and said, ‘Do you, do you wanna marry me?’ And I was just like, ‘Of course I do. I love you,’” Firerose recalled the moment. “He said, ‘I love you. I wanna make this official. I wanna be with you forever.’”

A few months after his ex-wife Tish got married again, Billy Ray married Firerose. Firerose got married to “Prison Break” star Dominic Purcell in August 2023.

Brandi, 36, and Trace, 34, were there. They are Tish’s children from earlier relationships, and they were happy to take pictures with Purcell and two of his four kids.

Billy Ray and Tish had Brandi and Trace when they were married. Miley Cyrus, Braison, and Noah were all there to cheer on the couple.

Notably, Noah and Braison did not go to the wedding of their mother. Instead, they posted pictures of their trip to Walmart on social media. Noah was wearing a Billy Ray t-shirt.

It’s still not clear if Cyrus’s children were at his wedding to Firerose.

Some fans couldn’t help but notice one thing about the couple’s social media posts from their wedding day: Billy Ray Cyrus’ hair! “Could he not have at least combed his hair for the occasion?” asked one person. “He couldn’t find a comb?!” asked someone else. “All that money and no hairbrush?!” joked someone else.

A lot of people were interested in Billy Ray Cyrus’s haircut and why he chose it.

Do you like the way Billy Ray Cyrus styled his hair for his wedding? Please SHARE this article and let us know in the comments!

A Chinese doctor moved to the U.S., but couldn’t land a job at a hospital. So, he decided to open his own little clinic and hung a sign outside that read:

“Get treatment for $20 — If not cured, get $100 back!”

One day, an American lawyer saw the sign and thought, “Easy money!” So he walked in.

Lawyer: “Doc, I’ve lost my sense of taste.”
Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22. Put three drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Lawyer: “Ugh! That’s kerosene!”
Doctor: “Congrats, your taste is back! That’ll be $20.”

Annoyed but not giving up, the lawyer returned a few days later.

Lawyer: “I’ve lost my memory. I can’t remember a thing.”
Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put three drops in his mouth.”
Lawyer: “Hey — that’s kerosene! You gave me this last time!”
Doctor: “Congrats, your memory’s back! That’ll be $20.”

Now fuming, the lawyer came back one last time, determined to win the $100.

Lawyer: “Doc, my eyesight is so bad — I can’t see a thing!”
Doctor: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $100.”

The doctor handed him a $20 bill.

Lawyer (squinting): “Hey, wait! This is only $20, not $100!”
Doctor: “Congrats, your eyesight’s restored! That’ll be $20.”

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies

A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man

“I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man

“I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers

“I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall

“What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

A big, burly man knocked on the door of the pastor’s house one day and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman known for her charity work and love for the poor and helpless.

The woman opened the door and saw the man with tears streaming down his face.

“Oh, whatever is the matter?” she cried out.

“I come to you today, dear woman, to do charity and good work,” said the man in a hopeless voice.

“Come in, come in!” The woman admitted him inside and they sat in her living room.

“Madam,” said the man in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”

“How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife. “May I ask who you are?”

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes.

“I’m the landlord,” he sobbed.

Harry was a poor tailor whose shop was next door a 2 Star Restaurant.

Every day for lunch, Harry would eat his black bread and herring in the small garden at the back of his shop. He would always smell the wonderful odours emanating from the next door restaurant’s kitchen.

One day, the restaurant sent Harry an invoice. Harry went to see the manager to ask why.

The manager replied, “You’re enjoying my food, so you should pay for it.”

Harry refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the story.

They said, “Every day, this man comes and sits near our kitchen and visibly smells our food whilst eating his. We are obviously adding value to his cheap food and we deserve to be recompensed for it.”

The judge then asked Harry, “And what do you have to say about that?”

Harry said nothing but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled around the coins he had inside.

The judge asked him, “What’s the meaning of that?”

Harry replied, “I am paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money.”