My Sister Named Her Son the Same as Mine! I Didn’t Understand…

When my sister named her newborn son Martin, just like mine, I brushed it off as a strange coincidence. But weeks later, after our mother’s sudden death and the shocking reading of her will, I realized Emily had a plan all along — and it began with that name.

The corridor outside the delivery room smelled like disinfectant and something else — something older, heavier.

It reminded me of fear that had been sitting around too long. The chairs were hard, plastic, and cold even through my coat.

I sat beside Jake, my sister’s husband. Our knees nearly touched, but it felt like we were sitting miles apart.

He kept rubbing his palms on his jeans, over and over, like he could wipe away whatever thoughts he was trying not to think.

“No screams… maybe things went well?” I asked, trying to keep my voice light. I offered a small smile, but it just hung in the air like a question no one wanted to answer.

“Or maybe the opposite,” he said without looking at me, his voice flat. His eyes were stuck to the floor like he was afraid to look up and see something he couldn’t handle.

I looked around. The hallway was quiet — a cart rolled by in the distance, one of those metal ones with rattling wheels.

I wanted to talk — about the weather, the vending machine that only gave Diet Coke, anything to break the tension.

But Jake wasn’t in the mood. He looked like a man on the edge of something deep and cold.

Just then, the door creaked open. A nurse with kind eyes and tired shoulders poked her head out.

“You can come in.”

Jake and I stood at the same time, but I reached the door first. Inside, everything was too white — the lights, the sheets, even the walls. Machines beeped softly, blinking like quiet little heartbeats.

And there she was. Emily.

My sister looked like someone who had been to war and back. Her face was pale, lips dry and cracked.

Her eyes had dark circles like she hadn’t slept in a week. But she was smiling, and in her arms was the tiniest thing I’d ever seen — pink, wrinkled, and alive.

The baby squirmed softly in her arms, making those little newborn noises, half sighs, half squeaks.

Jake gasped and leaned on the wall. His face went pale, and I worried he might hit the floor. I placed a hand on his back and gently nudged him toward a chair.

“Men,” I said with a smirk, trying to lift the mood. “Built like trucks, faint like feathers.”

Emily laughed softly as if pushing it out had taken everything she had. She tilted the bundle so I could see him better.

My heart clenched. He was beautiful. Small and perfect. A new life, right there in her arms.

“He’s beautiful,” I whispered.

Emily nodded slowly. “His name is Martin.”

I blinked. The air changed — like a breeze had just run through a still room.

“Martin?” I asked. “You mean…?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Something wrong, sister?” she asked, eyes fixed on me.

“You know my son is named Martin.”

Emily shrugged. “Lots of boys are named Martin. It’s not like you copyrighted it.”

I hesitated. “It’s just… surprising.”

“Take it as a compliment. I liked your choice,” she said.

I forced a smile. My jaw felt tight.

“Alright then,” I said. “I’ll grab you some fruit from the store later.”

She nodded again. We exchanged a look I couldn’t name. It wasn’t warm, yet it wasn’t cold either. But it sat between us like a stone.

Something behind her smile didn’t feel like admiration.

Weeks passed like lazy river water — slow, murky, and uneventful. The days felt heavy, one slipping into the next without much to mark them.

Emily and I barely saw each other. We’d send the occasional text, sometimes a photo of the babies, but that was it. I figured it was the newborn fog.

I remembered how hard those first months could be — the sleepless nights, the nonstop crying, the way time melted like butter on a hot stove.

Still, something about the way Emily sounded during our last phone call stuck with me. It sat in my chest like a stone I couldn’t shake.

Her voice had been sharp and rushed like she was trying not to cry or scream. I hadn’t asked. Maybe I should have.

Emily lived with our Mom. She was 84, and in the last few years, she had faded a little. Her steps were slower, and her thoughts wandered.

She was still sharp sometimes, especially when talking about old stories or giving opinions no one asked for.

But most days, she was more memory than muscle. I figured Emily had help around the house.

But help, I’ve learned, can feel like a ghost when no one talks about the truth. And in our family, truth often sat behind closed doors with dust on it.

Then came the night. I had just tucked in my Martin, kissed his forehead, and closed his bedroom door.

I stood in the kitchen with a mug of tea that had gone cold. The clock blinked 10:47 p.m.

My phone rang.

I smiled, confused. “Calling me at this hour, Em? What’s the drama?”

Her voice came through the line, soft and low. “Mom’s gone.”

I stood up so fast my chair scraped the floor. “What?”

“She passed in her sleep. The nurse said it was peaceful.”

My eyes filled with tears. “Emily… I—”

“I know,” she whispered. “I should’ve called sooner. But I just… couldn’t.”

When the call ended, the silence in the kitchen felt thick. I stared at the clock again and wished I could turn it back.

I hated myself for every visit I had pushed off, for every call I didn’t make.

The living room smelled like cedar and forgotten holidays. That scent — part wood, part dust, and part memory — pulled me straight back to Christmas mornings and birthday cakes on the old dining table.

But now the house was too quiet. No laughter.

No clinking dishes. Just the soft creak of the couch springs as Emily and I sat side by side, stiff and still.

We hadn’t spoken much that morning. I poured her coffee. She barely touched it. I offered a toast.

She shook her head. Now, we sat on Mom’s flower-print couch, the same one that had faded with time but still felt too cheerful for a day like this.

We looked like two girls waiting for bad news from the principal’s office.

Across from us, Mr. Howard, Mom’s attorney, adjusted his glasses and opened a thick folder.

His suit was too big, or maybe his shoulders had shrunk with years of doing this sort of thing — sitting with families, reading words that pulled the ground out from under people.

He cleared his throat. “Your mother left a will.”

Emily folded her hands in her lap. I tried not to fidget, but my foot kept tapping.

“Most of her assets — jewelry, savings, her car — are to be split between the two of you.”

I gave a small nod. That part didn’t surprise me. Mom always said she wanted to be fair.

“But the house,” he continued, “is to go to her grandson. Martin.”

My lips curled into a smile. My heart softened just a little. “She always said that. Said it should stay with the first grandchild.”

But then, I felt Emily shift beside me. It wasn’t just a casual move. It was stiff, like a warning. Her voice cut through the quiet. “Which Martin?”

I turned to her, shocked. “What?”

“There are two Martins now,” she said, her voice tight. “She never said which one.”

Mr. Howard frowned, flipping the page. “There’s no clarification. Just ‘to my grandson, Martin.’” He held up the handwritten will. “No middle name. No birthdate.”

“She meant my Martin,” I said, my voice louder than I meant it to be. “The one she helped raise while Emily was off traveling the country chasing yoga retreats and new diets.”

Emily’s jaw tightened. “She lived with me too. Especially in her final months. You weren’t there for that.”

Mr. Howard held up his hand. “Let me finish. The date on this will is from a month after your son’s birth, Emily. So it’s legally possible she meant either child.”

I felt my chest tighten. “You named him Martin for this, didn’t you?” I turned toward her, my voice shaking. “That’s why. You knew this would happen.”

Her face turned red. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You barely let her hold your baby, and now you think she meant him?” My words came fast, sharp. “You manipulated her.”

“Stop it,” she snapped. “You always think you know everything.”

Mr. Howard cut in. “We may need to take this to court. Until then, the house is jointly owned between both boys.”

I felt sick. The room spun a little. I stared at the floor, trying to hold it together. I wasn’t going to let this go. Not after everything. Not without a fight.

That night, the house felt too still. It wasn’t the peaceful kind of quiet. It was the kind that pressed against your ears and made you aware of every creak, every breath, every heartbeat.

The kind that made you remember things you weren’t ready to feel.

I walked through the rooms like a stranger in my own memories. The hallway smelled like lemon cleaner and time.

I passed the kitchen, where Mom used to hum while peeling apples. I could almost hear her voice.

When I stepped into her bedroom, the scent hit me. Rosewater. Soft, sweet, and a little dusty.

It still hung in the air, clinging to the curtains and old sweaters folded neatly on the dresser. My eyes burned.

Her desk sat by the window, still messy like she’d just stepped away — crossword puzzles with half-filled boxes. A ball of yarn with knitting needles stuck through it like swords.

And notes — little ones, just like always. She was always writing reminders on sticky notes, napkins, and scrap paper.

One note said, “Pop laundry in dryer. Ask Jake about gas bill.” I smiled, imagining her muttering to herself as she wrote it. But then my smile faded.

Something about the handwriting…

I pulled out my phone and opened the photo of the will. I held the note beside it.

Same curvy “M,” same neat loops — at first. But the dateline in the will leaned too far right. The ink looked fresher.

And the words “to my grandson Martin”? They looked like they covered something else.

My stomach dropped.

Something wasn’t right.

The next morning, Mr. Howard came back. He wore the same tired suit and carried the same folder, but this time, something about his expression seemed tighter.

He sat at the kitchen table, placing the folder down with care like it was made of glass.

Emily and I sat across from each other, the space between us feeling wider than the whole room.

“We’ve consulted with a forensics specialist,” Mr. Howard began, his voice low and steady. “But before I continue—”

“I have something,” I cut in, reaching into my coat pocket. My fingers shook just a little as I pulled out the note I’d found on Mom’s desk and slid it across the table.

He raised his eyebrows, adjusted his glasses, and leaned in. “Where did you find this?”

“Her desk. It’s hers. I’d bet my life on it.”

He didn’t answer at first. He laid the note beside the will, his eyes moving slowly back and forth.

He studied the curves, the slants, the way the letters pressed into the paper.

“You may be right,” he said at last. He tapped his finger on the will. “In fact… look here.” His finger paused over the page.

“Three areas — the date, the name, and this smudged word — they don’t match. Someone changed this. The handwriting doesn’t belong to your mother.”

Emily stood up so fast the chair squeaked. “This is madness.”

I looked straight at her. “You forged the will.”

Her face changed. A mix of anger and sadness. “You don’t know what it was like!” she cried.

“Living with her every day. Watching her look at your son like he hung the moon while I was just… there.”

“You lied,” I said, standing too. “You named your son Martin just to have a shot at the house.”

“She wanted you to have everything,” she said, voice cracking. “You were her angel. I was the spare.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I hated that name. I hated calling him Martin. But I did it anyway.”

I softened. “I’m sorry, Emily. But you crossed a line.”

“I lived with her. I took care of her. I earned that house!” she shouted.

“And then you tried to steal it,” I replied, “from your own family.”

She exploded. “Take your damn house! And your damn son’s name!”

The door slammed behind her. I sat back down, the sound ringing in my ears. The silence returned, but this time, it didn’t feel peaceful. It felt broken.

I reached out and ran my fingers across the spot where Mom used to sit, where her teacup always left a faint circle.

“I’ll fix this, Mom,” I whispered. “Somehow, I’ll fix it.”

53-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to Twins, Son-In-Law Notices Familiar Birthmarks on Them

A woman conceives at the age of 53 and gives birth to twins prematurely. But things take a bizarre turn when her son-in-law arrives at the hospital and notices the same birthmark on the babies’ shoulders as his.

When 53-year-old Barbara took the pregnancy test, and it showed two lines, she couldn’t believe her eyes! Yes, she was expecting a child! The sudden weight gain and mood swings were not coincidental, but it was too late by the time Barabara realized it.

“Do you hear the heartbeats, Barbara?” Dr. Carter asked her when she visited the hospital.

Barbara was taken aback. “Heartbeats?”

“Yes, Barbara. Don’t you know you’re pregnant with twins?”

Barbara froze in shock when Dr. Carter said that.

Being a mother is one of the most beautiful experiences a woman can have, but it came as a shock to Barbara because, at her age, she was already a mother, and not to mention, a grandmother to two beautiful girls.

“Can we please terminate the pregnancy, doctor?” Barbara asked, worried. “I don’t want to go forward with it.”

The doctor gave her a disappointed look. “I’m sorry, Barbara, but I’m afraid it’s too late. I see some inconsistencies in your report, and I believe we’ll have to admit you to the hospital for a while. I have a feeling you’re going to have a premature delivery.”

“Please, doctor,” Barbara begged, her eyes welling up. “Is there nothing else I can do to avoid this pregnancy? I don’t think I’m prepared for this.”

“I’m sorry, Barbara, but I’m afraid I can’t assist you. As I previously stated, your reports are not normal. And if we perform the abortion, you will be putting your life in danger.”

Barbara was devastated. She was scared of what would happen when her daughter learned that she was pregnant, but more than that, she feared how she’d raise the kids alone. Nevertheless, she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide the pregnancy for long. So she called Melanie that day and told her everything.

“Oh, mom, come on!” Melanie burst out laughing on the call. “You shouldn’t be cracking such jokes at that age!”

“I’m serious, honey!” Barbara expressed her disappointment. “Could you please check your phone?”

Melanie was aware that her mother was seeing a man named Jackson, who was once a classmate of hers. They’d gone to the same high school and university and met on Facebook. He’d even asked Barbara out, and they’d gone on a few dates.

However, Melanie didn’t believe her mother was serious until she looked up her message and read the ultrasound reports. It proved that she was indeed pregnant and that she wasn’t lying.

Melanie was taken aback. “Oh my goodness, Mom! This is unbelievable! But, what have you thought about it?”

“I really didn’t want to continue with it, honey,” Barbara moaned. “But I don’t have a choice. The doctors said abortion is too risky, so I have to go ahead with it.”

“Don’t be concerned, mom,” Melanie reassured her. “If God has placed you in this position, he will also guide you. I’m always there for you.”

Barbara was left in tears when her daughter said that. “But honey, don’t you want to know….”

Before Barbara could finish, Melanie cut her off. “I don’t need to know anything else, mom. Just don’t stress yourself over anything. Okay?”

“But what about Josh and the others? They’ll judge me for being pregnant at this age, and then those poor kids will have to face society. I’m really worried, honey.”

“Why do you care what others think, mom? You’re aware of how people are. They’ll talk about you today, but they won’t remember you tomorrow. As far as Josh is concerned, he’s very understanding. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.”

“Alright, honey. Thank you,” Barbara said and then hung up. But she was still concerned about what would happen if the truth was revealed.

Melanie, like a responsible daughter, visited and cared for her mother from the moment she found out she was pregnant. Josh, Melanie’s husband, was equally supportive and accompanied her to the hospital on weekends to care for his mother-in-law. But all of this love and support vanished the day the twins were born.

When the nurse brought the babies, Melanie and Josh immediately noticed the birthmarks on the babies’ shoulders. Melanie was stunned, to say the least, and Josh couldn’t believe his eyes!

“The birthmark…How is that possible? I can’t believe you did this to me, Josh!” Melanie cried. “Did you cheat on me and with my mother?”

“What? Are you crazy, Melanie? There’s nothing like that!” Josh explained.

“Don’t lie to me, Josh! Look at those birthmarks! I can’t believe this! And mom, even she didn’t tell me!”

Josh was at a loss for words at this point. He’d noticed the birthmarks as well, but he wasn’t the father of Barbara’s twins. “Listen, Melanie, please calm down. It isn’t what you think…”

“I don’t want to listen to you, Josh!” Melanie snapped. “I need to talk to mom right now!” The woman said as she rushed to Barbara’s ward.

Barbara, who had just woken after the delivery, was stunned to see her daughter’s face red, with tears running down her cheeks. “Honey, are you alright?” she asked, worried.

“Alright? Really, mom?” Melanie was furious. “I can’t believe Josh and you…. That’s disgusting, mom. When did you two start meeting behind my back? Don’t lie, I saw the birthmarks on the babies’ shoulders. Josh has the same birthmark!”

“Honey, please calm down,” Barbara said.

“How can I calm down, mom?” Melanie burst into tears once again. “I supported you throughout your pregnancy, mom! I was afraid Josh wouldn’t support me in this, but he did. And I was surprised when he did that. Was he acting this way because he was the father? Also, you said you wanted to tell me something about the pregnancy when you called me that day, but I cut you off. I AM DIVORCING THAT MAN! I DON’T WANT TO SEE HIS FACE!”

Josh, who had just arrived after Melanie, tried to console her, but the young woman pushed him away and said she didn’t want to hear anything.

Barbara couldn’t hold back her tears when she saw her daughter in that state. She called Melanie over to her side and took her hand in hers. “Josh, you come here as well. There’s something you both need to know…” The older lady started and narrated the entire story.

It turned out that the father of Barbara’s twins was Josh’s father, Mr. Andrew Wilson. A few months ago, they all got together at Andrew’s ranch, where Barbara and Andrew got drunk and a little romantic.

Barbara was terrified of admitting the truth, but even more so of her daughter losing her family. As a result, she kept the truth to herself and never revealed it.

“Josh’s father has the same birthmark as well, honey,” Barbara added. “If you don’t believe me, ask Josh.”

Melanie looked at Josh, who nodded in agreement. “She’s correct, Mel. My father and grandfather share the same birthmark.”

“I guess I should have told you guys everything earlier. I’m sorry,” Barbara broke down in tears.

Having heard the whole story from her mother, Melanie realized that she was wrong to jump to conclusions and apologized to Barbara and Josh. “I’m sorry for the whole chaos I created. I should have given you guys a chance to explain yourselves. But mom,” she said, turning to Barbara. “I think you should tell Mr. Wilson about it.”

“Yes, Barbara,” Josh added. “Dad has the right to know what happened. Moreover, the kids are his responsibility too. I think you should tell him.”

Barbara was not sure about it, but she called Andrew and told him everything. He was taken aback by the news, but he decided to take responsibility for the children. A few hours after the call, he paid a visit to Barbara in the hospital with a bouquet and proposed to her on his knees in the most romantic way.

The older lady blushed and nodded yes. A few months later, the two were married at a church in an intimate family ceremony, and they are now a big happy family.

The greatest paradoxes.

Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fees.

The student struck a deal saying, “I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court.”

Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days.

Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying, “If I win this case,as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money.”

Equally brilliant student argued back saying, “If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don’t have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don’t have to pay him because I haven’t won my first case yet, So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything.”

This is one of the greatest paradoxes ever recorded in history.

 

One day, Pete complained to his friend,  “My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $20.00.”

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.

After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: “You have migraines. You need to take better care of yourself. Get daily rest, drink a lot and avoid bright lights, stress, and strain. See me again in 2 weeks.”

During the next 2 weeks, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.

He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he even added some oil from his car. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00, again stating he had a bad headache. He waited curiously to see what the computer will say about the odd mix.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water has too much waste in it.

Your dog has ringworms.

Your teenage daughter is pregnant.

Your wife has had 5 different lovers in the past six months.

Also, your car needs a new radiator.

And you wonder why you have a headache?

During a road trip, an elderly couple decided to stop at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

During a road trip, an elderly couple decided to stop at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they returned to the car and continued their journey.

Only about forty minutes into the trip did the elderly lady realize she had left her glasses on the table at the restaurant.

She informed her husband and, to their frustration, they had to drive a long distance before they could find a place to turn around.

As they were heading back to the restaurant to get the glasses, the elderly husband turned into the typical grumpy old man.

He complained, sulked, and scolded his wife nonstop the entire way back.

The more he complained, the more agitated he became, refusing to stop for even a moment.

Finally, to the lady’s relief, they returned to the restaurant.

She quickly got out of the car and ran inside to get her glasses.

Just as she was about to go in, the old man rolled down the window and shouted:
“Since you’re in there, could you grab my hat and credit card too!”

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop

One hot summer day, Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop with a big grin on his face.

He strolled up to the counter, where the old shopkeeper was cleaning some ice cream scoops.

Johnny looked up and asked, “Hey mister, do you have broccoli ice cream?”

The shopkeeper chuckled. “Broccoli ice cream? No, kid, we don’t sell that!”

Johnny shrugged and walked out.

The next day, Johnny came back.

“Hey, mister, do you have broccoli ice cream today?”

The shopkeeper frowned. “No, Johnny, I told you yesterday—we don’t have broccoli ice cream!”

Johnny just nodded and left.

The third day, Johnny returned again.

“Hey mister, do you have broccoli ice cream?”

The shopkeeper groaned. “Kid, for the last time, we don’t have broccoli ice cream! We never had it, and we never will! Now stop asking!”

Johnny sighed. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

The next day, Johnny came back. The shopkeeper saw him coming and immediately shouted:

“Johnny! Let me guess—you’re here to ask about broccoli ice cream?”

Johnny smiled. “Wow, mister, you’re really smart!”

The shopkeeper grinned, proud of himself. “Well, of course I am! I know everything about my shop!”

Johnny smirked. “Oh yeah? Then do you have chocolate ice cream?”

The shopkeeper nodded. “Of course!”

Johnny grinned wider. “And do you have vanilla ice cream?”

“Yes, we do,” the shopkeeper replied, now slightly confused.

Johnny leaned in closer. “And do you have strawberry ice cream?”

“Yes, Johnny, we have strawberry ice cream,” the shopkeeper sighed.

Johnny crossed his arms. “Then let me ask you this… if you have chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry… WHY DON’T YOU HAVE BROCCOLI ICE CREAM?!”

The shopkeeper nearly fainted.

LOL!!


Little Johnny Counts to 10

The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”

“Can you tell me what comes after three?”

“Four,” answers little Johnny.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven,” answers little Johnny.

“Very good,” says the teacher.

“Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?”

“A jack,” answers little Johnny.

Some new sleeping pills.

An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself into the doctor’s office.

“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”

“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”

“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”

A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.

“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”

“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”

“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!”

 

blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store

and asks the clerk if she can use the stores baby scale.

“Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.”

“Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde.

“Why not?” asks the clerk.

“Because,” she answers, “I’m not the mother – I’m the aunt.”

 

A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on.

She stopped at a hair salon and asked for a haircut.

She instructed that the hair stylist could not take off her headphones.

The stylist replied refusing to cut her hair, so she left.

She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing.

This time, the stylist agreed to cut her hair.

After a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair.

To wake her, the stylist took off the headphones.

The blond immediately fell on the floor, flopped and died.

Confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones.

They were saying: “breath in, breath out.”

 

A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form.

A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says: “Here’s a pill for English literature.”

The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature.
“What else do you have?” asks the student.

“Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history,” replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.

Then the student asks: “Do you have a pill for math?”

The pharmacist says, “Wait just a moment,” goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter.

“I have to take that huge pill for math?” inquires the student.

The pharmacist replies, “Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow.”

An old couple had been married for 50 years.

An old couple had been married for 50 years.

Every morning (without fail) the man produced a massive fart when he got out of bed and then laughed like a madman.

Also every morning, his wife would admonish him: “One of these days you’re going to fart your guts out.”

It’s Thanksgiving morning.

The old man is sleeping in and the old lady is in the initial steps of preparing the turkey. While she has a handful of turkey innards, she gets an idea.

She tiptoes up the stairs and into the bedroom. She carefully pulls back the waistband of her husband’s jockey shorts and loads him up with warm turkey guts.

An hour later the woman hears him stirring.

She hears his feet hit the floor and then the normal fart-laugh sequence.

The laugh stops abruptly and is followed by a scream, and then 10 minutes of utter silence.

The man eventually comes down the stairs and says to his wife: “Honey, I owe you an apology. For years, you’ve been telling me that I was going to fart my guts out. Today it finally happened, but by the grace of God and these 2 fingers (raises soiled 1st and 2nd digit) I got ’em all back in and I’m gonna be OK.”


An old married couple went camping.

An old married couple were going camping.

They pitched their tent under the stars and fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, the wife woke her husband and said, “Look at the stars and tell me what you see.”

The husband replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

The wife said, “And what do you make of that?”

The husband replied, “Well if there are millions of stars and even some of them have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”

There was a slight pause before the wife said: “No honey, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

LOL!! 

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

Innocence is Bliss!

A little four year old boy is sitting on the toilet.

His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what’s up.

The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a comic book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says, “Billy, are you all right? You’ve been in here for a while.”

Billy says, “I’m fine, mummy… I just haven’t done it yet.”

Mother says, “OK, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?”

Billy says, “It works on the ketchup bottle!”

 

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist,

“You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?”

“Yes”, the boy’s mother answered.

“And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked.

“Who cares?” the mother replied.

 

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit.

She instructed her son to use his own phone and pass on an urgent message to daddy, who was at work. After junior had called, he got back to his mother to inform that it was a lady who picked up his dad’s phone the three times that he tried to reach him.

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work. When he came back, she slapped her husband, leaving him shell-shocked. She slapped him once again. On hearing the commotion, people from the neighbourhood rushed around to know the reason behind it.

The man then asked their son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called. He said, “The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later!”

 

A boy asks his mother for breakfast.

She says, “Not until you feed the animals.”

The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, “I don’t feel like feeding you today.” So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he’s hungry.

His mother says, “I saw you kick the chicken, so you’re not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you’re not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you’re not getting any bacon.”

Just then the boy’s father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat.

The boy says, “Mom, should I tell him?”

Under The Bed.

Jimmy went to a psychiatrist.

“Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I’m going crazy!”

“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

“I’ll sleep on it,” said Jimmy.

Six months later the doctor met Jimmy on the street.

“Why didn’t you ever come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.

“For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for $10.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain’t nobody under there now!!!”

 

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist,

“You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?”

“Yes”, the boy’s mother answered.

“And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked.

“Who cares?” the mother replied.

 

A kid asks his father:

Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?

Dad: Because the bed won’t come to you.

 

Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying.

“Why are you crying?” asked the other child.

“I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger.”

When he heard this, the other child started to cry.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m here for a urine test.”

 

Once a doctor dies.

He was a heart specialist.

At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart.

A man laughs.

Another man asks him why he laughed.

He says, “I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral.”

A man and a woman were married for many years

A man and a woman were married for many years, and their arguments were legendary—shouting could be heard late into the night.

The old man would often yell, “When I die, I’ll dig my way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

The neighbors were terrified of him, and he seemed to enjoy that.

Then, at the age of 98, the old man passed away.

After the funeral, the neighbors, still worried, asked his wife, “Aren’t you afraid he might dig his way out and haunt you?”

She calmly replied, “Let him try. I had him buried upside down, and I know he’ll never ask for directions.”


An old married couple went cam

An old married couple were going camping.

They pitched their tent under the stars and fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, the wife woke her husband and said, “Look at the stars and tell me what you see.”

The husband replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

The wife said, “And what do you make of that?”

The husband replied, “Well if there are millions of stars and even some of them have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”

There was a slight pause before the wife said: “No honey, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

LOL!! 

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

ping.