Author: news

A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you mind if I wait?” “No, come in.”

They sit down and the friend says

“You know Nora, you have the greatest melons I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.”

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell a hundred bucks.

She opens her robe and shows one.

He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says

“They are so beautiful I’ve got to see the both of them. I’ll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together.”

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can’t wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says “You know, your weird friend Chris came over.”

Tony thinks about this for a second and says “Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads:

“All the men here are tall and plain.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

Cheating is never a good idea, because no matter how good you think you are at keeping your infidelity a secret, your partner will eventually learn of the type of person you are, and even if they don’t, you still need to live with yourself knowing that you’ve heart someone you are supposed to be faithful to.

The following joke involves a cheating wife, and, you guess, a cheating husband.

This will make you laugh. Read it below.

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend.

They make love for hours and, afterward, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings.

Since it’s the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

“Hello? Oh, hi… I’m so glad that you called… Really? That’s wonderful… Well, I’m happy to hear you’re having such a great time… Oh, that sounds terrific… Thanks. Okay. Bye-bye.”

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?”

“Oh,” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”

The airline industry has certainly seen its share of problems in recent years. Not only do they have to deal with people who are often frustrated, they have to do so with a smile on their face. As you can imagine, it is very difficult for some of them to hold back from saying what is actually on their mind. Whenever they do have the opportunity to do it, however, it is usually one of the most awesome things you could possibly imagine. That is what happened in this case when a male flight attendant had a run-in with a rich, pushy passenger. The results will have you laughing out loud.

A gay flight attendant had a very interesting way of dealing with a snobbish passenger who refused to put their tray up for landing. This woman was asked to raise her tray by the flight-attendant but she didn’t budge and instead spoke condescendingly. You’ll never guess what he said.

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who was camping it up outrageously. He seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us:

”Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your tray, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat:

“Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch.”

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks,

“Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?”
She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.
After she’s finished, the tough, hairy biker says,

“Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had!
That’s a real talent you’re wasting.
You could be famous.
Why are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl

A young blonde landed a job as a physical education teacher for a group of 16-year-olds. As she supervised the students playing soccer on the field, she noticed one boy standing alone at the far end, away from the group.

Feeling sympathy for the boy, she approached him. “Hey there, everything alright?” she asked kindly. The boy nodded. Sensing his reluctance to join the game, she encouraged him, saying, “You can go and have fun with the others, you know.”

Continue reading below to see what happened…

To her surprise, the boy shook his head. “I think it’s best if I stay here,” he replied. The teacher inquired further, “And why is that, honey?”

The boy looked at her confused and said, “Because I’m the goalie!”

Laughing together not only fosters connection but also eases tension and brightens even the simplest of moments.

In a world often filled with stress and seriousness, moments of levity like this remind us of the joy and simplicity found in laughter.

Please SHARE this fun story with Family and Friends and let us know what you think in comments!

A poor man told his wife, I am sick and tired of being poor, I am going to work overseas.

So, he took off to Africa. A few years later, he returned.

As he approached his house he was stunned by the luxurious and rich look of the house.

He knocked on the door, and the servant opened.

“Is the housewife in?” he asked.

The servant replied: “Just a moment.”

The wife comes out: Wife: Wow, my man, all dressed up as a rich man after these years.

Husband: Guess what? I am rich.

Wife: How?

Husband: I went to Africa, and found people walking with no underwear and sleeping on sand …

Husband: I went to Africa and found people walking with no underwear and sleeping on sand so I began to make and sell underwear and beds.

Due to the high demand, I got rich fast.

Wife: A man, with all of your strength, had to go all the way to Africa, making beds and underwear, to get rich, and I am a little woman that stayed here, without underwear and on a single bed…I got REAL rich.

Just a joke. No hard feelings!

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side.

You know what?” he concluded.

“What, dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck.”

The renowned plus-size model Tess Holliday recently shared a family portrait on her Instagram account, expressing gratitude for her journey.

She mentioned her past challenges in romantic relationships during childhood but highlighted the significant shift in attention she now receives from admirers.

Three years ago, Tess formalized her relationship with photographer Nick Halliday, with whom she shares two children. Their son, Baby Bowie, is their mutual child, while Riley is Tess’s child from a previous relationship, being lovingly raised by Nick as his own.

Online reactions to the family photo varied, with some celebrating the beautiful family unit and others expressing different perspectives.

Comments ranged from admiration for the family’s beauty to opinions questioning the pairing.

Share your thoughts on this family portrait and the story behind it.

Feel free to join the comments.

Former President Donald Trump said earlier this week that Melania Trump is so bothered by the assassination attempt on his life that she is unable to talk about it.

He told Fox News host Laura Ingraham during a Monday interview that Melania was “watching live” when the incident happened and now is unable to really discuss it with anyone.

“She was watching live. She can’t really even talk about it, which is OK. That means she likes me. She loves me.” He then added: “When I went down, she thought the worst had happened,” the 45th president said of Melania’s immediate reaction, “because I went down and grabbed my ear and my hand was loaded up with blood.”

Trump was shot by 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks, who was immediately engaged by a Secret Service counter-sniper team and killed.

A rallygoer was killed and two others wounded in the shooting, both of whom have since been discharged from hospitals. The Secret Service has faced bipartisan scrutiny on Capitol Hill for failing to secure the roof of the building that Crooks was able to scale before he opened fire. The agency has also been criticized for losing track of the would-be assassin’s location despite receiving warnings about him before Trump took the stage.

“There should have been communication with the local police, which there wasn’t,” Trump said of the Secret Service. “So that’s a bad thing, and they were seeing this guy – it was a very disturbed person, and they were seeing him around.”

Trump has also said he will ignore the Secret Service’s recommendation that he stop doing outside rallies. “Yeah, I’m going to do rallies [outside],” he told Ingraham, adding he believes it’s “important symbolically.” That will include holding another rally outdoors in Butler.

Ronald Rowe assumed the role of acting Secret Service Director last week, succeeding Kimberly Cheatle, who resigned after a House hearing where she faced intense questioning and struggled to address specific communication failures leading up to the July 13 shooting.

“The hearing comes one day after the FBI released new details about its investigation into the shooting, revealing that the gunman, 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks, had looked online for information about mass shootings, power plants, improvised explosive devices and the May assassination attempt of the Slovakian prime minister,” the Associated Press reported.