A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.<\/p>\n
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.<\/p>\n
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.<\/p>\n
While he\u2019s in there, the husband tells his wife:<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, this guy\u2019s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn\u2019t seen a woman in years.<\/p>\n
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s@x, don\u2019t resist, don\u2019t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.<\/p>\n
This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he\u2019ll kll us. Be strong, honey. I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
To which his wife responds:<\/p>\n
\u201cHe wasn\u2019t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was g@y, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline.<\/p>\n
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6933","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6933","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6933"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6933\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6934,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6933\/revisions\/6934"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6933"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6933"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6933"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}