{"id":6814,"date":"2025-06-02T08:25:53","date_gmt":"2025-06-02T07:25:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6814"},"modified":"2025-06-02T08:25:53","modified_gmt":"2025-06-02T07:25:53","slug":"when-husbands-get-too-clever-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6814","title":{"rendered":"When Husbands Get Too Clever"},"content":{"rendered":"

One evening, a husband\u2014feeling a little too confident for his own good\u2014decided to tease his wife.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cMaybe we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast,\u201d he chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould take a few inches off your backside!\u201d<\/p>\n

Cue the awkward silence.<\/p>\n

His wife, however, was not one to let such comments go unanswered.<\/p>\n

The next morning, as the husband reached into his drawer for a fresh pair of underwear, a mysterious puff of powder burst into the air.<\/p>\n

He coughed and blinked. \u201cWhat the heck?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAPRIL!\u201d he called out, holding the underwear at arm\u2019s length. \u201cWhy is there talcum powder in my boxers?!\u201d<\/p>\n

From the bathroom, his wife called back sweetly: \u201cOh, honey\u2026 that\u2019s not talcum powder. It\u2019s Miracle-Gro.\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A wealthy married man was having an aff:air with an Italian woman.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

One evening, she confided in him that she was pregnant.<\/p>\n

Not wanting to jeopardize his marriage or reputation, the man offered her a large sum of money to move to Italy and have the baby in secret.<\/p>\n

He also promised to provide child support until the child turned 18 if she stayed there to raise the child.<\/p>\n

The woman agreed but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep things discreet, he told her to send a postcard with the word *\u201cSpaghetti\u201d* written on the back.<\/p>\n

Once he received it, he would arrange for the child support.<\/p>\n

Months later, the man returned home to his puzzled wife.<\/p>\n

She handed him a postcard from Italy and said, \u201cThis is a bit odd.\u201d<\/p>\n

Trying to play it cool, he said, \u201cOh, just give it to me. I\u2019ll explain later.\u201d<\/p>\n

But as he read the card, his face turned pale, and he fainted.<\/p>\n

The postcard read: \u201cSpaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"3d<\/p>\n

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her a good trip.<\/p>\n

The wife answers, \u201cThank you, honey, what would you like me to bring for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The husband laughs and says, \u201cAn Italian girl!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

The woman kept quiet and left.<\/p>\n

Two weeks later he picks her up at the airport and asks, \u201cSo, honey, how was the trip?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery good, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd, what happened to my present?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich present?\u201d She asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one I asked for \u2013 an Italian girl!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that,\u201d she said. \u201cWell, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

She had never been on an airplane before and felt very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and shouting, \u201cBOEING! BOEING! BOEING!\u201d<\/p>\n

As she yelled, she forgot where she was, and even the pilot in the cockpit heard the noise. Annoyed by the situation, the pilot came out and shouted, \u201cBe silent!\u201d<\/p>\n

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody started to look at the blonde and the angry pilot.<\/p>\n

She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting: \u201cOEING! OEING! OEING!\u201d<\/p>\n

One day, I asked my English teacher,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cWhy do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H \u2026in Hour, Honour. \u2026etc. ???\u201d<\/p>\n

My English teacher said, \u201cWe are not ignoring them; they\u2019re considered silent \u201c\u2026\u2026. (I was even more confused???)<\/p>\n

During the lunch break, my teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the cafeteria.<\/p>\n

I ate all the food and returned her the empty container\u2026!!!<\/p>\n

My English teacher: \u201cWhat happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.\u201d<\/p>\n

I replied, \u201cSir, I thought \u2018H\u2019 was silent.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/h2>\n

A mother was cleaning the house when her young son, Timmy, ran up to her, crying.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, sweetie?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom, I accidentally broke a flower pot while playing soccer in the living room,\u201d Timmy confessed.<\/p>\n

The mother sighed, trying to stay calm. \u201cTimmy, how many times have I told you not to play soccer in the house?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Mom,\u201d Timmy replied, \u201cbut it wasn\u2019t my fault. The ball just went flying!\u201d<\/p>\n

The mother looked at him and said, \u201cWell, accidents happen. But next time, you need to be more careful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Timmy nodded and ran off to play. A few minutes later, Timmy returned and said, \u201cMom, I have something to tell you, but promise you won\u2019t get mad.\u201d<\/p>\n

The mother, suspicious but curious, said, \u201cAlright, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Timmy took a deep breath and said, \u201cI also broke the window\u2026 but I learned a valuable lesson!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

The mother raised an eyebrow. \u201cAnd what lesson is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Timmy smiled sheepishly and said, \u201cNext time, I\u2019m playing outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

A teacher is trying to instruct her class on the meaning of the word \u201cdefinitely\u201d.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cCan anyone give me an example?\u201d She asks.<\/p>\n

Suzie raises her hand, \u201cThe grass is definitely green.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes the grass can be brown,\u201d The teacher answers.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe sky is definitely blue,\u201d Says Timmy.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe sky can be gray if it\u2019s cloudy, or black at night,\u201d Says the teacher.<\/p>\n

In the back of the class, little Johnny raises his hand and asks, \u201cDo farts have lumps?\u201d<\/p>\n

Caught off guard the teacher says, \u201cNo, of course not!\u201d<\/p>\n

Johnny replies, \u201cThen I definitely pooped my pants.\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One evening, a husband\u2014feeling a little too confident for his own good\u2014decided to tease his wife. \u201cMaybe we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast,\u201d he chuckled. \u201cCould take a few inches off your backside!\u201d Cue the awkward silence. His wife, however, was not one to let such comments go unanswered. The next morning, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6814"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6815,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6814\/revisions\/6815"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}