A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender blinked and said, \u201cWait a minute\u2014you\u2019re a duck!\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s pretty clear,\u201d the duck replied. \u201cAnd you talk!\u201d the bartender exclaimed. \u201cAnd you listen well,\u201d said the duck. \u201cNow, about that beer and sandwich?\u201d A duck in a construction worker\u2019s outfit sitting at a bar eating a sandwich. \u201cOh, right, sorry,\u201d the bartender said, pouring the beer. \u201cWe don\u2019t see many ducks in here. What brings you by?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m working on that construction site nearby,\u201d the duck said. \u201cI\u2019m a plasterer.\u201d The bartender looked surprised, but said nothing as the duck pulled out a newspaper and started reading. The duck read, ate, and left. He did the same thing every day for two weeks. A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper. Then the circus came to town.<\/p>\n
The circus manager stopped by the pub, and the bartender said, \u201cHey, you\u2019re with the circus, right? I know a duck who\u2019d be a sensation in your act! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper\u2026 he\u2019s incredible!\u201d \u201cReally?\u201d said the circus manager, handing over his card. \u201cTell him to give me a call.\u201d The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, \u201cHey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job\u2014with great pay.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m always open to good opportunities,\u201d said the duck. \u201cWhere is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt the circus,\u201d the bartender replied. A circus in a field. \u201cThe circus?\u201d said the duck. \u201cYep,\u201d said the bartender. \u201cThe circus?\u201d the duck asked again. \u201cThe one with the big tent?\u201d \u201cExactly!\u201d said the bartender. \u201cWith caged animals and people living in trailers?\u201d the duck asked. \u201cThat\u2019s the one,\u201d said the bartender. \u201cAnd the tent\u2019s made of thick fabric with a hole in the top?\u201d the duck asked. \u201cThat\u2019s right!\u201d said the bartender. The duck frowned and said, \u201cWhy would they need a plasterer?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender blinked and said, \u201cWait a minute\u2014you\u2019re a duck!\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s pretty clear,\u201d the duck replied. \u201cAnd you talk!\u201d the bartender exclaimed. \u201cAnd you listen well,\u201d said the duck. \u201cNow, about that beer and sandwich?\u201d A duck in a construction […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6782"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6783,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6782\/revisions\/6783"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}