A duck waddles into a pub and asks for a beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender, stunned, says, \u201cYou\u2019re a duck!\u201d The duck coolly replies, \u201cClearly,\u201d and continues ordering. Impressed that the duck talks, the bartender serves the beer, puzzled. Curious, he asks what brings the duck to his bar. The duck explains he\u2019s a plasterer working at a nearby construction site and visits daily for lunch.<\/p>\n
This routine continues for two weeks\u2014same duck, same sandwich, same newspaper. Then the circus comes to town. The circus manager visits the pub, and the bartender excitedly tells him about his unusual customer. \u201cA talking duck who reads, drinks, and eats sandwiches? You\u2019ve got to see him!\u201d The manager, intrigued, leaves his card and says he\u2019d love to hire the duck for the show.<\/p>\n
The next day, the bartender tells the duck about the circus offer and how it could be a big break with great pay. The duck seems interested and asks, \u201cWhere is it?\u201d \u201cAt the circus,\u201d says the bartender. But the duck looks confused. \u201cThe one with the big tent, caged animals, and people living in trailers?\u201d he asks. \u201cExactly!\u201d says the bartender.<\/p>\n
The duck pauses, furrows his brow, and says, \u201cWhy would they need a plasterer?\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes, even talking ducks just want to stick to their day job.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A duck waddles into a pub and asks for a beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender, stunned, says, \u201cYou\u2019re a duck!\u201d The duck coolly replies, \u201cClearly,\u201d and continues ordering. Impressed that the duck talks, the bartender serves the beer, puzzled. Curious, he asks what brings the duck to his bar. The duck explains he\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2721,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6737","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6737","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6737"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6737\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6738,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6737\/revisions\/6738"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6737"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6737"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6737"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}