{"id":6732,"date":"2025-05-28T14:36:52","date_gmt":"2025-05-28T13:36:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6732"},"modified":"2025-05-28T14:36:52","modified_gmt":"2025-05-28T13:36:52","slug":"an-atheist-was-seated-next-to-an-old-cowboy-on-a-plane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6732","title":{"rendered":"An atheist was seated next to an old cowboy on a plane"},"content":{"rendered":"

An atheist was seated next to an old cowboy on a plane and turned to him, saying, \u201cWould you like to chat? Flights go faster when you strike up a conversation with your seatmate.\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The cowboy, who had just started reading his book, looked up and replied, \u201cWell, what would you want to talk about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I don\u2019t know,\u201d the atheist said with a smirk. \u201cHow about why there\u2019s no God, no Heaven or Hell, and no life after death?\u201d<\/p>\n

The cowboy paused, then said, \u201cThose could be interesting topics, but let me ask you something first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. Yet, a deer leaves little pellets, a cow produces flat patties, and a horse makes clumps. Why do you think that is?\u201d<\/p>\n

The atheist, caught off guard by the question, thought for a moment and admitted, \u201cI have no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

The cowboy leaned back, tipped his hat, and said, \u201cThen how can you talk about God, Heaven, Hell, or life after death when you don\u2019t know crap?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

An Old Cowboy Gets 3 Wishes<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A modern-day old cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

He\u2019s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last when he suddenly sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.<\/p>\n

He crawls towards the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks like an old briefcase.<\/p>\n

He opens it and out pops a genie.<\/p>\n

But this is no ordinary genie. She wears an AUSTRALIAN TAXATION OFFICE badge and a dull grey dress.<\/p>\n

There is a calculator in her pocketbook.<\/p>\n

She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, old cowboy,\u201d said the genie\u2026 \u201cYou know how I work. You have three wishes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not falling for this\u201d, says the old man.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going to trust an ATO auditor genie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you have to lose? You have no transportation and it looks like you are a goner anyway!\u201d<\/p>\n

The old man thinks about this for a minute and decides the genie is right.<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with lots of food and drink.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

The old cowboy is in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, surrounded by jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.<\/p>\n

OK, old boy, what\u2019s your second wish?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy second wish is for me to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

The old man is surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, cowpuncher, you just have one wish. Better make it a good one!\u201d<\/p>\n

After a few minutes of thinking, the man says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

He is turned into a t-a.mpon.<\/p>\n

Moral of the story<\/strong><\/p>\n

If the government offers you anything, there\u2019s going to be a string attached.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An atheist was seated next to an old cowboy on a plane and turned to him, saying, \u201cWould you like to chat? Flights go faster when you strike up a conversation with your seatmate.\u201d The cowboy, who had just started reading his book, looked up and replied, \u201cWell, what would you want to talk about?\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6732"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6733,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6732\/revisions\/6733"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}