{"id":6719,"date":"2025-05-28T08:24:03","date_gmt":"2025-05-28T07:24:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6719"},"modified":"2025-05-28T08:24:03","modified_gmt":"2025-05-28T07:24:03","slug":"an-old-blind-marine-accidentally-stumbles-into-an-all-girl-biker-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6719","title":{"rendered":"An old, blind Marine accidentally stumbles into an all-girl biker bar"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><strong>An old, blind Marine accidentally stumbles into an all-girl biker bar, completely unaware of his surroundings.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>After feeling his way to the bar, he takes a seat and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.<\/p>\n<p>As he settles in, he suddenly yells out, \u201cHey, anyone here wanna hear a blonde joke?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The room goes dead silent.<\/p>\n<p>From beside him, a deep, authoritative voice calmly responds, \u201cBefore you go any further, I think you should know a few things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The voice continues:<\/p>\n<p>1. \u201cThe bartender is a blonde woman with a baseball bat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>2. \u201cThe bouncer is also a blonde woman.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>3. \u201cI\u2019m a blonde, 6-foot-tall, 175-pound black belt in karate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>4. \u201cThe woman sitting next to me is a blonde professional weightlifter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>5. \u201cAnd the lady on your other side is a blonde professional wrestler.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The room stays silent as the Marine pauses to process what he just heard.<\/p>\n<p>After a moment, he chuckles softly and says, \u201cYou know what? Forget it. I don\u2019t feel like explaining the joke five times.\u201d<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>A cowboy, fresh from Texas orders three mugs of Bud<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-78165 size-full td-animation-stack-type2-2\" src=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/37.jpeg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/37.jpeg 512w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/37-240x300.jpeg 240w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/37-336x420.jpeg 336w\" alt=\"\" width=\"512\" height=\"640\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><strong>A cowboy, fresh from Texas, strolls into a bar in Montana and orders three mugs of Bud.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>He heads to a corner, and takes a sip from each mug, one after the other, in turn.<\/p>\n<p>Once he\u2019s done, he returns to the bar and orders three more.<\/p>\n<p>Curious, the bartender approaches him and says, \u201cYou know, beer goes flat pretty quick after it\u2019s poured. It might taste better if you just ordered one at a time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The cowboy smiles and explains, \u201cWell, here\u2019s the thing. I\u2019ve got two brothers\u2014one in Arizona, the other in Colorado. When we all moved away from Texas, we promised that whenever we drank, we\u2019d each have one for the others, just like we did back home. So, I\u2019m drinking for my brothers and myself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The bartender nods, impressed by the sentiment, and leaves it at that.<\/p>\n<p>The cowboy becomes a regular, always ordering three beers and sipping them in rotation.<\/p>\n<p>One day, though, he walks in and only orders two mugs.<\/p>\n<p>The regulars, noticing the change, go quiet.<\/p>\n<p>When the cowboy returns to the bar for his second round, the bartender cautiously leans in and says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry for your loss. I just wanted to offer my condolences.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The cowboy looks confused for a second, then bursts out laughing. \u201cOh no, no one\u2019s passed away!\u201d he chuckles.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church, so I had to quit drinking. But my brothers are still going strong!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An old, blind Marine accidentally stumbles into an all-girl biker bar, completely unaware of his surroundings. After feeling his way to the bar, he takes a seat and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. As he settles in, he suddenly yells out, \u201cHey, anyone here wanna hear a blonde joke?\u201d The room goes dead silent. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2721,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6719"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6720,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719\/revisions\/6720"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}