A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday.<\/p>\n
She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.<\/p>\n
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk,\u00a0\u201cI hope you don\u2019t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?\u201d \u201cAbout 32,\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0is the reply. \u201cI\u2019m exactly 47,\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0the woman says happily.<\/p>\n A little while later she goes into McDonald\u2019s and asks the counter girl the very same question. She replies,\u00a0\u201cI guess about 29.\u201d \u201d Nope, I\u2019m 47.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Now, she\u2019s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds,\u00a0\u201cOh, I\u2019d say 30.\u201d Again she proudly responds, \u201cI am 47, but, thank you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks a senior gentleman the same question. He replies,\u00a0\u201cLady, I\u2019m 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands on your breasts. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out,\u00a0\u201cWhat the heck, go ahead.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n He begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this, she says,\u00a0\u201cOkay, okay, how old am I?\u201d He completes one last squeeze, removes his hands, and says, \u201cMadam, you are 47.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Stunned and amazed, the woman says,\u00a0\u201cThat was incredible, how could you tell?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n The old man replies,\u00a0\u201cPromise you won\u2019t get mad?\u201d \u201cPromise,\u201d she says.<\/strong><\/p>\n He replies,\u00a0\u201cI was behind you in line at McDonald\u2019s.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk,\u00a0\u201cI hope you don\u2019t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?\u201d \u201cAbout […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2721,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6685"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6685\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6686,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6685\/revisions\/6686"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}