{"id":6348,"date":"2025-05-03T16:56:58","date_gmt":"2025-05-03T15:56:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6348"},"modified":"2025-05-03T16:56:58","modified_gmt":"2025-05-03T15:56:58","slug":"one-day-mrs-jones-went-to-talk-to-the-minister-at-the-local-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6348","title":{"rendered":"One day, Mrs. Jones went to talk to the minister at the local church."},"content":{"rendered":"

One day, Mrs. Jones went to talk to the minister at the local church.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cReverend,\u201d she said, \u201cI have a problem. My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It\u2019s very embarrassing. What should I do?\u201d

The minister thought for a moment and said, \u201cI have an idea. Take this hatpin with you. I\u2019ll watch for when Mr. Jones is dozing off, and I\u2019ll motion to you. When I do, you give him a little poke in the leg.\u201d

The following Sunday, Mrs. Jones brought the hatpin to church. Sure enough, during the sermon, Mr. Jones started to nod off. The minister noticed and said, \u201cAnd who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?\u201d He nodded toward Mrs. Jones.

\u201cJesus!\u201d Mr. Jones cried, waking up as his wife poked him with the hatpin.

\u201cYes, you\u2019re right, Mr. Jones,\u201d said the minister. But soon after, Mr. Jones dozed off again. The minister asked, \u201cWho is your redeemer?\u201d and motioned toward Mrs. Jones.

\u201cGod!\u201d Mr. Jones yelled out, again getting poked in the leg.

\u201cRight again!\u201d said the minister. But before long, Mr. Jones fell asleep again. This time, the minister didn\u2019t notice, and he picked up the pace of his sermon, making some gestures that Mrs. Jones mistook for signals to poke her husband.

The minister asked, \u201cWhat did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?\u201d

Mrs. Jones poked Mr. Jones again, and he woke up, shouting, \u201cIf you poke me with that thing one more time, I\u2019ll snap it in half and make you regret it!\u201d

\u201cAmen!\u201d the congregation replied in unison.<\/p>\n

\n

An elderly couple was attending a church service.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

An elderly couple was attending a church service.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The lady turned towards her husband and said, \u201cI just let out a really long silent fart. What should I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man smiled\u2026 and said to her, \u2018\u2018Honey, your hearing aid needs a battery replacement.\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

\n

Two little boys were at sitting together in a church<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Two little boys were sitting together in a church during a wedding ceremony.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

As the couple said \u201cI do\u201d, one of the little boys leaned over to the other and asked, \u201cI wonder how many wives can a man have?\u201d<\/p>\n

The second little boy looked at his friend like he was an idiot and said, \u201cHe can have 16 wives.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know that?\u201d The first little boy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWeren\u2019t you listening? The priest just said it. Four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer.\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!! SO CUTE!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One day, Mrs. Jones went to talk to the minister at the local church. \u201cReverend,\u201d she said, \u201cI have a problem. My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It\u2019s very embarrassing. What should I do?\u201dThe minister thought for a moment and said, \u201cI have an idea. Take this hatpin with you. I\u2019ll watch for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6349,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6348\/revisions\/6349"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}