{"id":6311,"date":"2025-04-29T06:30:43","date_gmt":"2025-04-29T05:30:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6311"},"modified":"2025-04-29T06:30:43","modified_gmt":"2025-04-29T05:30:43","slug":"innocence-is-bliss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=6311","title":{"rendered":"Innocence is Bliss!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A little four year old boy is sitting on the toilet.<\/h2>\n

His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what\u2019s up.<\/p>\n

The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a comic book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.<\/p>\n

His mother says, \u201cBilly, are you all right? You\u2019ve been in here for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

Billy says, \u201cI\u2019m fine, mummy\u2026 I just haven\u2019t done it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mother says, \u201cOK, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?\u201d<\/p>\n

Billy says,\u00a0\u201cIt works on the ketchup bottle!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist,<\/h2>\n

\u201cYou are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.\u201d<\/p>\n

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, \u201cHave the tranquilizers calmed you down?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u201d, the boy\u2019s mother answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how is your son now?\u201d the psychiatrist asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho cares?\u201d the mother replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit.<\/h2>\n

She instructed her son to use his own phone and pass on an urgent message to daddy, who was at work. After junior had called, he got back to his mother to inform that it was a lady who picked up his dad\u2019s phone the three times that he tried to reach him.<\/p>\n

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work. When he came back, she slapped her husband, leaving him shell-shocked. She slapped him once again. On hearing the commotion, people from the neighbourhood rushed around to know the reason behind it.<\/p>\n

The man then asked their son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called. He said,\u00a0\u201cThe number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A boy asks his mother for breakfast.<\/h2>\n

She says, \u201cNot until you feed the animals.\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, \u201cI don\u2019t feel like feeding you today.\u201d So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he\u2019s hungry.<\/p>\n

His mother says, \u201cI saw you kick the chicken, so you\u2019re not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you\u2019re not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you\u2019re not getting any bacon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just then the boy\u2019s father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat.<\/p>\n

The boy says,\u00a0\u201cMom, should I tell him?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A little four year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what\u2019s up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a comic book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6311"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6312,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6311\/revisions\/6312"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}