A slick city lawyer was cruising through the countryside in his shiny BMW when he noticed a picturesque farm, complete with a tree heavy with ripe red apples. The fruit looked too good to resist.<\/p>\n
Without a second thought, he pulled over, hopped the fence, and picked the biggest, shiniest apple he could find. He\u2019d just taken a big, juicy bite when an old farmer rumbled up on a tractor, eyes squinting under a wide-brimmed hat.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfternoon,\u201d the farmer said, voice calm but firm. \u201cThat there\u2019s my tree, and those are my apples.\u201d<\/p>\n
The lawyer chuckled smugly. \u201cDo you know who I am? I\u2019m one of the top attorneys in the city. I could sue you six ways from Sunday for stopping me from enjoying one lousy apple.\u201d<\/p>\n
The farmer scratched his chin thoughtfully. \u201cWell, son, we don\u2019t go in much for suing around these parts. We follow the \u2018Country Code.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Country Code?\u201d the lawyer asked, raising an eyebrow.<\/p>\n
\u201cYup,\u201d said the farmer. \u201cReal simple. We take turns kickin\u2019 each other until someone gives up. That\u2019s how we settle things out here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thinking this would be an easy win, the lawyer rolled up his sleeves and nodded. \u201cFine. Let\u2019s do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The farmer climbed down from his tractor, shuffled over in his thick, steel-toed boots, and with all the force of years behind him, swung a boot straight into the lawyer\u2019s stomach.<\/p>\n
The lawyer collapsed to the ground, wheezing, clutching his gut like he\u2019d just been hit by a wrecking ball. Several long, painful moments later, he managed to stagger to his feet, face red and teeth clenched.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright, old man,\u201d he growled. \u201cNow it\u2019s my turn!\u201d<\/p>\n
The farmer tipped his hat with a big grin and said, \u201cNah, I give up. Enjoy the apple.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A slick city lawyer was cruising through the countryside in his shiny BMW when he noticed a picturesque farm, complete with a tree heavy with ripe red apples. The fruit looked too good to resist. Without a second thought, he pulled over, hopped the fence, and picked the biggest, shiniest apple he could find. He\u2019d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6273"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6273\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6274,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6273\/revisions\/6274"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}