Harriet and Stanley were in their late 80s and had just moved into a new home that their tech-savvy grandson convinced them to make \u201csmart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything\u2019s voice-activated now,\u201d the grandson said proudly, clapping his hands. \u201cLights, thermostat, TV, even the fridge tells you when you\u2019re out of milk!\u201d<\/p>\n
Harriet squinted suspiciously. \u201cDoes it tell you when the milk has turned? Because your grandfather has been drinking expired milk since 1972 and says it \u2018builds character.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Stanley shrugged. \u201cHasn\u2019t k.i.ll3d me yet. Probably the reason I\u2019m still kicking.\u201d<\/p>\n
So one evening, Harriet tried using the voice commands.<\/p>\n
She stood in the middle of the living room and said loudly, \u201cTurn on the lights!\u201d<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
She tried again. \u201cTURN ON THE LIGHTS!\u201d<\/p>\n
Still nothing.<\/p>\n
Sitting in his recliner, Stanley said, \u201cYou have to say \u2018Hey Smart Home\u2019 first, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
So Harriet raised her voice, \u201cHEY SMART HOME, TURN ON THE LIGHTS!\u201d<\/p>\n
The microwave beeped. The lights stayed off. And the thermostat dropped to 60 degrees.<\/p>\n
Stanley grumbled, \u201cWell now it thinks we\u2019re going into hibernation.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day, Harriet tried to play music. \u201cHey Smart Home, play some Frank Sinatra.\u201d<\/p>\n
The speakers crackled\u2026 then started blasting gangster rap at full volume.<\/p>\n
Stanley screamed over the noise, \u201cWell, this ain\u2019t flyin\u2019 me to the moon!\u201d<\/p>\n
It took them 45 minutes and a call to their grandson to turn it off.<\/p>\n
Later that night, the fridge started talking.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are out of eggs,\u201d a creepy robot voice said.<\/p>\n
Stanley shouted back, \u201cThen go get some!\u201d<\/p>\n
The fridge paused and said, \u201cI didn\u2019t catch that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Harriet looked at Stanley. \u201cWe\u2019ve been married 60 years. I thought I\u2019d get to boss you around in retirement. Now I\u2019ve got a refrigerator with an attitude.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next morning, they unplugged everything.<\/p>\n
Stanley handed Harriet her old flip phone. \u201cLet\u2019s just go back to yelling at each other the old-fashioned way.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Harriet and Stanley were in their late 80s and had just moved into a new home that their tech-savvy grandson convinced them to make \u201csmart.\u201d \u201cEverything\u2019s voice-activated now,\u201d the grandson said proudly, clapping his hands. \u201cLights, thermostat, TV, even the fridge tells you when you\u2019re out of milk!\u201d Harriet squinted suspiciously. \u201cDoes it tell you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6180"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6181,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6180\/revisions\/6181"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}