Three husbands were sitting at a bar, each nursing a drink and lamenting the mysteries of married life.<\/p>\n
Husband 1 sighs and says, \u201cMy wife is a genius. She remembers everything I ever said\u2026 especially the things I forgot to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Husband 2 nods. \u201cMine too. Last week, she said I didn\u2019t listen to her. Or maybe that\u2019s what she said. I wasn\u2019t really paying attention.\u201d<\/p>\n
Husband 3 chuckles. \u201cGentlemen, you have it easy. My wife is so persuasive, she once convinced me that I was wrong about something I hadn\u2019t even said yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
They all laugh and raise their glasses, when an old man at the end of the bar, with a long white beard and a twinkle in his eye, leans over and says, \u201cYou lads still have much to learn. I\u2019ve been married 50 years. You want to know the secret?\u201d<\/p>\n
They nod eagerly.<\/p>\n
The old man continues, \u201cEvery fight I ever had with my wife, I lost. Every one. But\u2026 I figured out how to win.\u201d<\/p>\n
The three men lean in closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI simply learned two magical words,\u201d he says, holding up two fingers. \u201c\u2018Yes, dear.\u2019 That\u2019s it. That phrase has saved me from sleeping on the couch more times than I can count.\u201d<\/p>\n
Husband 1 asks, \u201cBut doesn\u2019t that mean you just give up?\u201d<\/p>\n
The old man laughs. \u201cNo, no. You don\u2019t give up. You just surrender\u2026 strategically. Like a ninja.\u201d<\/p>\n
He goes on:
\n\u201cLet me tell you what happened last week. My wife asked, \u2018Do you think I\u2019m overreacting?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
He pauses and looks at them seriously.
\n\u201cNow, I may be old, but I\u2019m not stupid. That question is a trap wrapped in a riddle inside a landmine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo I smiled, nodded, and said, \u2018Yes, dear.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Husband 2 frowns. \u201cAnd that worked?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d the old man says, \u201cnot exactly. I\u2019m still recovering from the saucepan incident\u2026 but I consider it a partial victory. At least I now know what not to say. Again.\u201d<\/p>\n
The three husbands laugh, and the old man raises his glass.
\n\u201cTo wives! The only people who can multitask, win arguments in their sleep, and somehow always be right\u2026 even when they aren\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
The others clink their glasses.<\/p>\n
And for once, they all agreed\u2026 quietly, and well within earshot of no one important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Three husbands were sitting at a bar, each nursing a drink and lamenting the mysteries of married life. Husband 1 sighs and says, \u201cMy wife is a genius. She remembers everything I ever said\u2026 especially the things I forgot to do.\u201d Husband 2 nods. \u201cMine too. Last week, she said I didn\u2019t listen to her. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6178","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6178"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6178\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6179,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6178\/revisions\/6179"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}