An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says \u201cI want to get a tattoo\u201d.<\/p>\n
The artist hesitantly replies \u201cWell, ok where would you like this tattoo?\u201d<\/p>\n
Old lady: \u201cactually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right thigh\u201d<\/p>\n
Artist: \u201cyou know how much this will hurt? Are you really sure you want them there?\u201d<\/p>\n
Old lady barks at him: \u201cof course I know that\u2019s where I want them! I don\u2019t care how much it will hurt!\u201d<\/p>\n
Artist: \u201cokay, whatever you want then. Let\u2019s take a look at art the art book to see if there is something you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
Old lady: \u201cI already know what I want. I want a Christmas tree on my left thigh, and a turkey on my right thigh\u201d<\/p>\n
Artist: \u201cuhhhh ok, I will do that, but could you answer me as to why you would want such a thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
Old lady: \u201cBecause in sick of my husband complaining there is nothing to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says \u201cI want to get a tattoo\u201d. The artist hesitantly replies \u201cWell, ok where would you like this tattoo?\u201d Old lady: \u201cactually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6062"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6063,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6062\/revisions\/6063"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}