A Polish man married an American woman, and even though his English wasn\u2019t perfect, they got along just fine.<\/p>\n
One day, he bursts into a lawyer\u2019s office, looking panicked.<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cI need a divorce! Please help!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cA divorce? Well, that depends on your situation. Do you have any grounds?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cYes, yes! One acre and a nice little house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cNo, I mean\u2014what\u2019s the foundation of your case?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cOh! Made of concrete.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cSir, do you and your wife have a grudge?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cNo need! We have a carport!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cLet\u2019s try again\u2026 what are your relations like?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cAll still in Poland.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cSir, has there been any infidelity in your marriage?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cOh yes! We have hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cNo, I mean\u2026 does your wife ever beat you up?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cNo, no, I wake up before her every day!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: Getting frustrated. \u201cThen why do you want a divorce?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cBecause she tries to k-i.l.l me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cWhat?! What makes you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cI have proof! She buys a bottle at the drugstore\u2026 puts it in the bathroom!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawyer: \u201cAnd what did the bottle say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Man: \u201cRight on label\u2026 \u2018Regular Polish Remover!’\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A Polish man married an American woman, and even though his English wasn\u2019t perfect, they got along just fine. One day, he bursts into a lawyer\u2019s office, looking panicked. Man: \u201cI need a divorce! Please help!\u201d Lawyer: \u201cA divorce? Well, that depends on your situation. Do you have any grounds?\u201d Man: \u201cYes, yes! One acre […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6001","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6001"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6001\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6002,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6001\/revisions\/6002"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}