A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.<\/p>\n
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.<\/p>\n
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, \u201cAre you ready to find Jesus?\u201d The drunk answers, \u201cYes, I am.\u201d So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, \u201cBrother have you found Jesus?\u201d The drunk replies, \u201cNo, I haven\u2019t found Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again but for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, \u201cHave you found Jesus, my brother?\u201d The drunk again answers, \u201cNo, I haven\u2019t found Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again \u2014 but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asked the drunk again, \u201cFor the love of God, have you found Jesus?<\/p>\n
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, \u201cAre you sure this is where he fell in?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, \u201cAre you ready […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5937","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5937","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5937"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5937\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5938,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5937\/revisions\/5938"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5937"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5937"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5937"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}