A wife had been asking her husband to fix a few things around the house. One day, she complained, \u201cHoney, the grass is way too high. Can you cut it?\u201d<\/p>\n
The husband, looking frustrated, replied, \u201cWhat do I look like to you? A landscaper?\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day, the sink started dripping, and she asked him, \u201cThe faucet\u2019s leaking, can you fix it?\u201d<\/p>\n
His reply, rolling his eyes, was, \u201cWhat do I look like to you? A plumber?\u201d<\/p>\n
Two days later, the light bulb went out in the kitchen. She sighed and asked, \u201cHoney, can you change this light bulb?\u201d<\/p>\n
He threw up his hands and grumbled, \u201cWhat am I, an electrician?\u201d<\/p>\n
Days later, the husband came home from work to find the lawn mowed, the faucet repaired, and the light bulb replaced. Surprised, he asked, \u201cWhat happened here?\u201d<\/p>\n
His wife, smiling, replied, \u201cWell, our new neighbor came over and took care of everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Curious, he asked, \u201cHow did you pay him?\u201d<\/p>\n
She shrugged. \u201cHe gave me two options: bake him a cake or have s3x with him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Relieved, the husband asked, \u201cOkay, so what kind of cake did you bake him?\u201d<\/p>\n
The wife smirked. \u201cWhat do you think I am, Betty Crocker?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A wife had been asking her husband to fix a few things around the house. One day, she complained, \u201cHoney, the grass is way too high. Can you cut it?\u201d The husband, looking frustrated, replied, \u201cWhat do I look like to you? A landscaper?\u201d The next day, the sink started dripping, and she asked him, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5832"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5832\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5833,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5832\/revisions\/5833"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}