{"id":5808,"date":"2025-04-01T12:27:45","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T11:27:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5808"},"modified":"2025-04-01T12:27:45","modified_gmt":"2025-04-01T11:27:45","slug":"the-surgeons-favorite-patients","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5808","title":{"rendered":"The Surgeons\u2019 Favorite Patients"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Surgeons\u2019 Favorite Patients<\/p>\n<p>Four surgeons were sitting around discussing their favorite people to operate on.<\/p>\n<p>The first surgeon said, &#8220;I prefer operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in perfect alphabetical order.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The second surgeon chimed in, &#8220;I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The third surgeon added, &#8220;I enjoy operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color-coded.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The fourth surgeon paused and said, &#8220;I prefer operating on politicians.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The other three surgeons stared at him in disbelief. One of them asked, &#8220;Why?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The fourth surgeon grinned and replied, &#8220;Because they\u2019re heartless, gutless, spineless, and their ass and head are interchangeable!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Surgeons\u2019 Favorite Patients Four surgeons were sitting around discussing their favorite people to operate on. The first surgeon said, &#8220;I prefer operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in perfect alphabetical order.&#8221; The second surgeon chimed in, &#8220;I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5808","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5808","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5808"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5808\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5809,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5808\/revisions\/5809"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}