{"id":5729,"date":"2025-03-29T06:04:51","date_gmt":"2025-03-29T06:04:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5729"},"modified":"2025-03-29T06:04:51","modified_gmt":"2025-03-29T06:04:51","slug":"an-elderly-married-couple-had-just-settled-into-bed-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5729","title":{"rendered":"An elderly married couple had just settled into bed"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><strong>An elderly married couple had just settled into bed when the old man let out a loud fart and declared, \u201cSeven points!\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>His wife, confused, rolled over and asked, \u201cWhat was that all about?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old man grinned and replied, \u201cIt\u2019s fart football.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Not wanting to be left out, a few minutes later the wife let one rip and proudly announced, \u201cTouchdown, tie game!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After a short pause, the old man fired off another and boasted, \u201cAha, 14 to 7! I\u2019m winning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Determined to keep up, the wife let loose with another big one, saying, \u201cTouchdown, tie game again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then, with a little squeaker, she added, \u201cField goal! I\u2019m in the lead, 17 to 14.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now feeling the pressure, the old man couldn\u2019t stand the thought of losing. Determined not to be defeated, he pushed with all his might\u2014but gave a little too much effort. To his horror, he accidentally pooped in the bed.<\/p>\n<p>His wife, shocked, asked, \u201cWhat on earth just happened?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old man sighed and said, \u201cHalf time\u2014time to switch sides.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An elderly married couple had just settled into bed when the old man let out a loud fart and declared, \u201cSeven points!\u201d His wife, confused, rolled over and asked, \u201cWhat was that all about?\u201d The old man grinned and replied, \u201cIt\u2019s fart football.\u201d Not wanting to be left out, a few minutes later the wife [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5729","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5729","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5729"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5729\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5730,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5729\/revisions\/5730"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}