A general visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops.<\/p>\n
Its WWIII, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.<\/p>\n
He goes up to the first man and says: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier replies: \u201csir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful.\u201d
\nThe general asks him: \u201cHow are they caring for you in here?\u201d and the soldier replies: \u201cWell sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cIs there anything else we can do for you?\u201d and the soldier says: \u201cNo sir, the nurses are doing the best they can.\u201d The general seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.<\/p>\n
The general approaches the second man\u2019s bed and asks: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier replies somewhat embarrassed: \u201cSir, I got gonorrhoea from a woman while I was on leave.\u201d
\nThe general laughs and says: \u201cIt happens to the best of us son, how are they caring for you in here?\u201d and the soldier replies: \u201cWell sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my privates with a soft brush.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cIs there anything else we can do for you?\u201d and the soldier says: \u201cNo sir, the nurses are doing the best they can.\u201d The general once again seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.<\/p>\n
The general approaches the third man\u2019s bed and asks: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier tells him: \u201csir, I got strep throat in the trenches.\u201d
\nThe general asks: \u201cHow are they caring for you in here?\u201d and the soldier replies: \u201cWell sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my throat with a soft brush.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cIs there anything else we can do for you?\u201d and the soldier says: \u201cActually sir, there is one thing\u2026 I\u2019d like to be the first one to use the brush.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A general visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops. Its WWIII, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers. He goes up to the first man and says: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d The soldier […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5704","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5704","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5704"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5704\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5705,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5704\/revisions\/5705"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5704"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5704"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5704"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}