{"id":5696,"date":"2025-03-27T05:25:09","date_gmt":"2025-03-27T05:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5696"},"modified":"2025-03-27T05:25:09","modified_gmt":"2025-03-27T05:25:09","slug":"leaving-early","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5696","title":{"rendered":"Leaving Early"},"content":{"rendered":"

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office with the same female boss.<\/h2>\n

Every day, they noticed their boss left work early.<\/p>\n

One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they\u2019d leave right behind her.<\/p>\n

After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?<\/p>\n

The next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left.<\/p>\n

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.<\/p>\n

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.<\/p>\n

The blonde was very very happy to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside.<\/p>\n

Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS.<\/p>\n

Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.<\/p>\n

The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.<\/p>\n

\u201cNO WAY,\u201d she exclaimed, \u201cI almost got caught yesterday!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.<\/h2>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the story this time, Jones?\u201d he asked sarcastically. \u201cLet\u2019s hear a good excuse for a change.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jones sighed, \u201cEverything went wrong this morning, boss. My wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river \u2013 look, my suit\u2019s still damp \u2013 ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr Thompson\u2019s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to do better than that, Jones,\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>said the boss, obviously disappointed.\u00a0\u201cNo woman can get ready in ten minutes.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The candidate was interviewing for a job at a phone answer center<\/h2>\n

and was asked to make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green.<\/p>\n

After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, the reply was,\u00a0\u201cWhen the phone goes GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

She got the job.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A guy shows up late for work.<\/h2>\n

The boss yells, \u201cYou should\u2019ve been here at 8.30!\u201d<\/p>\n

He replies,\u00a0\u201cWhy? What happened at 8.30?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet.<\/h2>\n

\u201cThis is two hundred pounds short,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d says the employer. \u201cBut last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn\u2019t say anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d says the worker.\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they\u2019d leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5696"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5697,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5696\/revisions\/5697"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}