{"id":5682,"date":"2025-03-27T05:20:48","date_gmt":"2025-03-27T05:20:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5682"},"modified":"2025-03-27T05:20:48","modified_gmt":"2025-03-27T05:20:48","slug":"three-soldiers-had-just-gotten-out-of-the-army","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5682","title":{"rendered":"Three Soldiers had just gotten out of the Army"},"content":{"rendered":"

Three Soldiers had just gotten out of the Army and decided to celebrate by taking a helicopter ride.<\/h2>\n

One of the soldiers is eating a banana and says, \u201cI wonder if we\u2019d be able to see it land, if I threw the peel out?\u201d Out goes the peel and they all watch it but don\u2019t see it land.<\/p>\n

One of the others has a rock and says \u201cThis is bigger, we should be able to see it land.\u201d They all watch, but don\u2019t see it land.<\/p>\n

The last one takes a grenade out of his pocket, pulls the pin and tosses it out of the door.
\n\u201cWe\u2019ll see that when it hits.\u201d They watch, but still nothing.<\/p>\n

Walking home they see a little girl crying and they ask, what\u2019s wrong?<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I was walking and slipped on a banana peel that came from nowhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

The soldiers explain what happened and are helping the girl home when they see a little boy sitting on the side of the road holding his head. They ask what happened?<\/p>\n

\u201cI was walking when a rock hit me on the head.\u201d<\/p>\n

They tell the story again and start to wonder what happened to the grenade.<\/p>\n

One of them races ahead and sees an old lady laughing hysterically. He asks what\u2019s so funny?<\/p>\n

The old lady says, \u201cI just farted and my house blew up!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once there were three turtles.<\/h2>\n

One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.<\/p>\n

The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn\u2019t eat the sandwiches until he got back.<\/p>\n

A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, \u201cOh, come on, let\u2019s eat the sandwiches.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said,\u00a0\u201cIf you do, I won\u2019t go!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.<\/h2>\n

They rub it, and a genie appears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have three wishes, so I\u2019ll give one to each of you,\u201d the genie announces.<\/p>\n

The first dinosaur thinks hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright,\u201d he says, \u201cI\u2019ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he\u2019d ever seen appears in front of him.<\/p>\n

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know! I\u2019ll have a shower of meat!\u201d<\/p>\n

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.<\/p>\n

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got it!\u201d he cries, \u201cI want a MEATIER shower!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Three Soldiers had just gotten out of the Army and decided to celebrate by taking a helicopter ride. One of the soldiers is eating a banana and says, \u201cI wonder if we\u2019d be able to see it land, if I threw the peel out?\u201d Out goes the peel and they all watch it but don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5682"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5683,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5682\/revisions\/5683"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}