{"id":5662,"date":"2025-03-26T09:04:33","date_gmt":"2025-03-26T09:04:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5662"},"modified":"2025-03-26T09:04:33","modified_gmt":"2025-03-26T09:04:33","slug":"is-the-wife-in-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5662","title":{"rendered":"Is the wife in control?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.<\/h2>\n

God comes and says, \u201cI want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines.<\/p>\n

The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.<\/p>\n

God got mad and said, \u201cYou men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only,one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?\u201d<\/p>\n

And the man replied, \u201cI don\u2019t know, my wife told me to stand here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God,<\/h2>\n

\u201cHow long is a billion years to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion years is like a second to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man asks, \u201cWell, how much is a billion dollars to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion dollars is like a penny to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the man says, \u201cGod, can I have a penny?\u201d<\/p>\n

And God replies, \u201cIn a sec.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa\u2019s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face.<\/h2>\n

She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.<\/p>\n

Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.<\/p>\n

Finally the little girl asks, \u201cGrandpa, did God make you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe sure did honey, a long time ago,\u201d replies her grandpa.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, did God make me?\u201d asks the little girl.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, He did, and that wasn\u2019t too long ago,\u201d answers her grandpa.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoy,\u201d says the little girl, \u201cHe\u2019s sure doing a lot better job these days isn\u2019t He?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, \u201cI want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5662"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5662\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5663,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5662\/revisions\/5663"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}