{"id":5649,"date":"2025-03-25T11:07:19","date_gmt":"2025-03-25T11:07:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5649"},"modified":"2025-03-25T11:07:19","modified_gmt":"2025-03-25T11:07:19","slug":"a-man-sat-on-his-front-porch-staring-dejectedly-at-the-ground","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5649","title":{"rendered":"A man sat on his front porch, staring dejectedly at the ground"},"content":{"rendered":"

A man sat on his front porch, staring dejectedly at the ground.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

His neighbor, noticing his gloomy demeanor, walked over to check on him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, what\u2019s got you so down?\u201d the neighbor asked.<\/p>\n

The man sighed, barely lifting his eyes. The neighbor tried again, but the man just shook his head.<\/p>\n

Finally, the neighbor persisted, \u201cCome on, what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man sighed deeply and said, \u201cI messed up. I answered one of those tricky questions women ask, and now I\u2019m in the doghouse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of question?\u201d the neighbor asked, curious.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy wife asked me if I\u2019d still love her when she\u2019s old, fat, and ugly.\u201d<\/p>\n

The neighbor chuckled, \u201cThat\u2019s easy! You just say, \u2018Of course, I will.\u2019 Problem solved!\u201d<\/p>\n

The man shook his head and groaned, \u201cYeah, that\u2019s what I *meant* to say. But what actually came out was, \u2018Of course, I do.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

A married couple is driving along a highway<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The husband is behind the wheel.<\/p>\n

His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. \u201cI know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n

The husband says nothing.<\/p>\n

He keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph.<\/p>\n

The wife speaks again. \u201cI don\u2019t want you to try to talk me out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She says, \u201cBecause I\u2019ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again the husband stays quiet but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph.<\/p>\n

She pushes her luck.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want a house.\u201d She says insistently.<\/p>\n

Up to 60 mph.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want the car, too.\u201d She continues.<\/p>\n

65mph.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd,\u201d she says, \u201cI\u2019ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, and the boat!\u201d<\/p>\n

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.<\/p>\n

This makes her nervous, so she asks him, \u201cIsn\u2019t there anything you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019ve got everything I need, \u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, really,\u201d she inquires. \u201cSo what have you got?\u201d<\/p>\n

Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe airbag!\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A man sat on his front porch, staring dejectedly at the ground. His neighbor, noticing his gloomy demeanor, walked over to check on him. \u201cHey, what\u2019s got you so down?\u201d the neighbor asked. The man sighed, barely lifting his eyes. The neighbor tried again, but the man just shook his head. Finally, the neighbor persisted, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5649"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5649\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5650,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5649\/revisions\/5650"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}