{"id":5641,"date":"2025-03-25T11:04:37","date_gmt":"2025-03-25T11:04:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5641"},"modified":"2025-03-25T11:04:37","modified_gmt":"2025-03-25T11:04:37","slug":"the-old-woman-and-the-shopkeeper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5641","title":{"rendered":"The Old Woman and the Shopkeeper"},"content":{"rendered":"

An elderly woman visited a store and requested seven kilograms of potatoes.<\/h2>\n

The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with.<\/p>\n

The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped in a similar manner. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else.<\/p>\n

The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me guess,\u201d said the owner with a sour face, \u201cyou want them wrapped individually.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that would be grand.\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag.<\/p>\n

The woman then asked: \u201cWhat are in those crates behind you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man flushed red and said \u201cMadam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A husband and wife were walking down<\/h2>\n

a high street when the wife spots a beautiful diamond necklace in a jewelry store window.<\/p>\n

She urges her husband to go inside so that she can take a look at it. Although she wants it, he simply doesn\u2019t have to buy it for her, but he promises that it\u2019ll be hers one day.<\/p>\n

A month passes, and the wife is at home wondering where on earth her husband is.<\/p>\n

She angrily calls his cell phone. \u201cWhere the hell are you?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n

\u201cDarling, you remember that jewelry store where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn\u2019t have money that time, and I said \u2018Baby it\u2019ll be yours one day\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I remember that my love!\u201d she replies, smiling and blushing profusely as she does.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m in the bar just next to that.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eggplants for sale<\/h2>\n

A grocer put up a sign that read: \u201cEggplants: 25 cents each or three for a dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: \u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!\u201d<\/p>\n

Meekly, the grocer packaged four eggplants for each customer that complained. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer: \u201cAren\u2019t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat mistake?\u201d the grocer asked. \u201cBefore I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An elderly woman visited a store and requested seven kilograms of potatoes. The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with. The woman then requested four […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5641"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5642,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5641\/revisions\/5642"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}