{"id":5583,"date":"2025-03-21T15:31:21","date_gmt":"2025-03-21T15:31:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5583"},"modified":"2025-03-21T15:31:21","modified_gmt":"2025-03-21T15:31:21","slug":"fred-and-mary-got-married-but-couldnt-afford-a-honeymoon-so-they-spent-their-first-night-at-freds-parents-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5583","title":{"rendered":"Fred and Mary got married but couldn\u2019t afford a honeymoon, so they spent their first night at Fred\u2019s parents\u2019 house."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Fred and Mary got married but couldn\u2019t afford a honeymoon, so they spent their first night at Fred\u2019s parents\u2019 house.<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>The next morning, little Johnny, Fred\u2019s kid brother, sat down for breakfast. As he grabbed his backpack, he asked, \u201cMom, are Fred and Mary up yet?\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>\u201cNo,\u201d she replied.<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>Johnny smirked. \u201cDo you know what I think\u2014\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>His mom cut him off. \u201cI don\u2019t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>At lunchtime, Johnny came home and asked again, \u201cAre Fred and Mary up yet?\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>\u201cNo.\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>Johnny grinned. \u201cDo you know what I think\u2014\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>His mom groaned. \u201cEnough, Johnny! Eat your lunch and get back to school.\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>After school, Johnny walked in and asked one more time, \u201cAre Fred and Mary up yet?\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>His mom sighed. \u201cFine, Johnny. What do you think?\u201d<br class=\"html-br\" \/><br class=\"html-br\" \/>Johnny shrugged. \u201cWell\u2026 last night, Fred came to my room looking for the Vaseline\u2026 and I think I gave him my airplane glue.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fred and Mary got married but couldn\u2019t afford a honeymoon, so they spent their first night at Fred\u2019s parents\u2019 house.The next morning, little Johnny, Fred\u2019s kid brother, sat down for breakfast. As he grabbed his backpack, he asked, \u201cMom, are Fred and Mary up yet?\u201d\u201cNo,\u201d she replied.Johnny smirked. \u201cDo you know what I think\u2014\u201dHis mom [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5583"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5583\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5584,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5583\/revisions\/5584"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}