{"id":5570,"date":"2025-03-20T12:50:15","date_gmt":"2025-03-20T12:50:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5570"},"modified":"2025-03-20T12:50:15","modified_gmt":"2025-03-20T12:50:15","slug":"three-men-find-themselves-at-the-pearly-gates-of-heaven-on-christmas-eve","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5570","title":{"rendered":"Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve"},"content":{"rendered":"

Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo get into heaven tonight, you must show me something that represents Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. \u201cThis is a Christmas candle,\u201d he says with a hopeful smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cImpressive,\u201d Saint Peter says and waves him through.<\/p>\n

The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. \u201cThese are Christmas bells,\u201d he grins.<\/p>\n

Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.<\/p>\n

Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.<\/p>\n

Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, \u201cAnd what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man smirks, \u201cThey\u2019re Carol\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

If that joke didn\u2019t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing on New Year\u2019s Day. It\u2019s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he wasn\u2019t expecting.<\/p>\n

\n

A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

His mother said she didn\u2019t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one.<\/p>\n

So the boy started writing out a letter. \u2018Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one year\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

He crossed it out and wrote: \u2018Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one month.\u2019<\/p>\n

Still, he wasn\u2019t happy, so he crossed it out and wrote: \u2018Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one week.\u2019<\/p>\n

His head spun, he tore up the paper, and went for a walk.<\/p>\n

As he passed the local church, he noticed a nativity scene.<\/p>\n

When nobody was looking, he grabbed the figure of Mary, hid it under his coat, and ran home.<\/p>\n

There he composed a new letter. \u2018Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge. \u201cTo get into heaven tonight, you must show me something that represents Christmas.\u201d The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. \u201cThis is a Christmas […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5570","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5570"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5570\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5571,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5570\/revisions\/5571"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}