{"id":5548,"date":"2025-03-20T12:41:29","date_gmt":"2025-03-20T12:41:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5548"},"modified":"2025-03-20T12:41:29","modified_gmt":"2025-03-20T12:41:29","slug":"are-the-rumors-true","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5548","title":{"rendered":"Are the Rumors True?"},"content":{"rendered":"

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, on his farm.<\/h2>\n

Tom had lost his wife a year or so before, and rumor had it that he was marrying a \u2018mail order\u2019 bride.<\/p>\n

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.<\/p>\n

Tom assured him that it was.<\/p>\n

The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.<\/p>\n

Tom proudly said, \u201cShe\u2019ll be 21 in November.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the a young woman could not be s.a.tisfied by an 80-year-old man. Wanting his old friend\u2019s remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.<\/p>\n

Tom thought this was a good idea, and said he would look for one that afternoon..<\/p>\n

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom again\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s the new wife?\u201d, asked the banker.<\/p>\n

Tom proudly said, \u201cGood \u2013 she\u2019s pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, \u201cAnd how\u2019s the hired hand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Without hesitating, Tom whispered, \u201cShe\u2019s pregnant, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner.<\/h2>\n

The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly.<\/p>\n

The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.<\/p>\n

The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment.<\/p>\n

Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, \u201cThis is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!\u201d<\/p>\n

The farmer looked puzzled and replied,\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s time to a pig?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An old farmer<\/h2>\n

wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed.<\/p>\n

The reporter asked what he is going to do with all the money.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I reckon the first thing do is go and pay a few bills.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what about the rest?\u201d the reporter continued.<\/p>\n

The farmer shrugs. \u201cWell, I guess they\u2019ll just have to wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC.<\/h2>\n

As the truck drove away\u2013one of the pigs fell out.<\/p>\n

The redneck walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck.<\/p>\n

He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up and asked what was going on.<\/p>\n

He told the story and the policeman recommended he take the pig to the zoo.<\/p>\n

The redneck was sitting in the same spot the next day with the pig sitting up in the front seat.<\/p>\n

The cop said \u201cdidn\u2019t I ask you to take this pig to the zoo?\u201d<\/p>\n

The redneck replied\u00a0\u201cI did and he liked it so well\u2013today I\u2019m taking him to the movies!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, on his farm. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before, and rumor had it that he was marrying a \u2018mail order\u2019 bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5548"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5548\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5549,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5548\/revisions\/5549"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}