{"id":5541,"date":"2025-03-20T12:39:29","date_gmt":"2025-03-20T12:39:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5541"},"modified":"2025-03-20T12:39:29","modified_gmt":"2025-03-20T12:39:29","slug":"a-cowboy-fresh-from-texas-orders-three-mugs-of-bud","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5541","title":{"rendered":"A cowboy, fresh from Texas orders three mugs of Bud"},"content":{"rendered":"

A cowboy, fresh from Texas, strolls into a bar in Montana and orders three mugs of Bud.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

He heads to a corner, and takes a sip from each mug, one after the other, in turn.<\/p>\n

Once he\u2019s done, he returns to the bar and orders three more.<\/p>\n

Curious, the bartender approaches him and says, \u201cYou know, beer goes flat pretty quick after it\u2019s poured. It might taste better if you just ordered one at a time.\u201d<\/p>\n

The cowboy smiles and explains, \u201cWell, here\u2019s the thing. I\u2019ve got two brothers\u2014one in Arizona, the other in Colorado. When we all moved away from Texas, we promised that whenever we drank, we\u2019d each have one for the others, just like we did back home. So, I\u2019m drinking for my brothers and myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bartender nods, impressed by the sentiment, and leaves it at that.<\/p>\n

The cowboy becomes a regular, always ordering three beers and sipping them in rotation.<\/p>\n

One day, though, he walks in and only orders two mugs.<\/p>\n

The regulars, noticing the change, go quiet.<\/p>\n

When the cowboy returns to the bar for his second round, the bartender cautiously leans in and says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry for your loss. I just wanted to offer my condolences.\u201d<\/p>\n

The cowboy looks confused for a second, then bursts out laughing. \u201cOh no, no one\u2019s passed away!\u201d he chuckles.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church, so I had to quit drinking. But my brothers are still going strong!\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

An Old Cowboy Gets 3 Wishes<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A modern-day old cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

He\u2019s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last when he suddenly sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.<\/p>\n

He crawls towards the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks like an old briefcase.<\/p>\n

He opens it and out pops a genie.<\/p>\n

But this is no ordinary genie. She wears an AUSTRALIAN TAXATION OFFICE badge and a dull grey dress.<\/p>\n

There is a calculator in her pocketbook.<\/p>\n

She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, old cowboy,\u201d said the genie\u2026 \u201cYou know how I work. You have three wishes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not falling for this\u201d, says the old man.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going to trust an ATO auditor genie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you have to lose? You have no transportation and it looks like you are a goner anyway!\u201d<\/p>\n

The old man thinks about this for a minute and decides the genie is right.<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with lots of food and drink.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

The old cowboy is in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, surrounded by jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.<\/p>\n

OK, old boy, what\u2019s your second wish?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy second wish is for me to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

The old man is surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, cowpuncher, you just have one wish. Better make it a good one!\u201d<\/p>\n

After a few minutes of thinking, the man says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shazam!<\/p>\n

He is turned into a t-a.mpon.<\/p>\n

Moral of the story<\/strong><\/p>\n

If the government offers you anything, there\u2019s going to be a string attached.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A cowboy, fresh from Texas, strolls into a bar in Montana and orders three mugs of Bud. He heads to a corner, and takes a sip from each mug, one after the other, in turn. Once he\u2019s done, he returns to the bar and orders three more. Curious, the bartender approaches him and says, \u201cYou […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5541"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5542,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5541\/revisions\/5542"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}