{"id":5505,"date":"2025-03-18T11:07:03","date_gmt":"2025-03-18T11:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5505"},"modified":"2025-03-18T11:07:03","modified_gmt":"2025-03-18T11:07:03","slug":"a-young-catholic-couple-about-to-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5505","title":{"rendered":"A young Catholic couple about to get married"},"content":{"rendered":"

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.<\/h2>\n

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?<\/p>\n

When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, \u201cI don\u2019t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,\u2019\u201c and he left.<\/p>\n

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn\u2019t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven?<\/p>\n

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. \u201cYes,\u201d he informed the couple, \u201cYou can get married in Heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat!\u201d said the couple, \u201cBut we were just wondering, what if things don\u2019t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?\u201d<\/p>\n

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d asked the frightened couple. \u201cOh, come on!,\u201d St. Peter shouted, \u201cIt took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it\u2019ll take me to find a lawyer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A lawyer and the pope died at the same time, both went to heaven.<\/h2>\n

They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms.<\/p>\n

The pope\u2019s room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light.<\/p>\n

They came to the Lawyer\u2019s room. It was huge with wall-to-wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar.<\/p>\n

The Lawyer said, \u201cThere must be a mistake. This must be the Pope\u2019s room!\u201d<\/p>\n

St Peter said, \u201cThere\u2019s no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of popes, but you\u2019re our very first Lawyer!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.<\/h2>\n

St. Peter checks his dossier and says, \u201cAh, you\u2019re an engineer, you built dams and diverted rivers, you changed the nature created by God. You\u2019re in the wrong place.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they\u2019ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.<\/p>\n

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, \u201cSo, how\u2019s it going down there in hell?\u201d<\/p>\n

Satan replies, \u201cHey, things are going great. We\u2019ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there\u2019s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.\u201d<\/p>\n

God replies, \u201cWhat??? You\u2019ve got an engineer? That\u2019s a mistake \u2013 he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Satan says, \u201cNo way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I\u2019m keeping him.\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cSend him back up here or I\u2019ll sue.\u201d<\/p>\n

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, \u201cYeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5505"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5505\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5506,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5505\/revisions\/5506"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}