![\"\"](\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/w2.png\")
<\/p>\nWhen they get there, St. Peter says, \u201cWe only have one rule here in heaven: Don\u2019t step on the ducks!\u201d<\/p>\n
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.<\/p>\n
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, \u201cYour punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn\u2019t miss a thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.<\/p>\n
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.<\/p>\n
The guy remarks, \u201cI wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?\u201d<\/p>\n
She says, \u201cI don\u2019t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI will give you each one wish, that\u2019s three wishes in total,\u201d says the Genie.<\/p>\n
The Scottish<\/strong>\u00a0guy says, \u201cI am a fisherman, my Dad\u2019s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.\u201d<\/p>\n So, with a blink of the Genie\u2019s eye \u201cpoof\u201d the oceans were teeming with fish.<\/p>\n The Englishman<\/strong>\u00a0was amazed, so he said, \u201cI want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.\u201d<\/p>\n Again, with a blink of the Genie\u2019s eye \u201cpoof\u201d there was a huge wall around England.<\/p>\n The Irishman\u00a0<\/strong>asks, \u201cI\u2019m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.\u201d<\/p>\n The Genie explains, \u201cWell, it\u2019s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.\u201d<\/p>\n The Irishman says,\u00a0\u201cPlease Fill it up with water.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket.<\/p>\n \u201cHow are three people going to travel on only one ticket?\u201d asks an Irishman.<\/p>\n \u201cWatch and you\u2019ll see,\u201d answers a Scottish man.<\/p>\n They all board the train.<\/p>\n The Irishmen take their respective seats but all three Scots cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.<\/p>\n Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,\u201dTicket, please.\u201d<\/p>\n The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Irishmen see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.<\/p>\n So after the conference, the Irishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don\u2019t buy a ticket at all.<\/p>\n \u201cHow are you going to travel without a ticket?\u201d says one perplexed Irishman.<\/p>\n \u201cWatch and you\u2019ll see,\u201d answers a Scot.<\/p>\n When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a bathroom and the three Scots cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Scots leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Irishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, \u201cTicket, please.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, \u201cWe only have one rule here in heaven: Don\u2019t step on the ducks!\u201d So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5501"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5502,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5501\/revisions\/5502"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference.<\/h2>\n