{"id":5476,"date":"2025-03-16T10:52:52","date_gmt":"2025-03-16T10:52:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5476"},"modified":"2025-03-16T10:52:52","modified_gmt":"2025-03-16T10:52:52","slug":"gerard-howard-and-norman-were-three-successful-brothers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5476","title":{"rendered":"Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers who wanted to outshine each other with the most impressive gift for their mother\u2019s 90th birthday.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

They gathered at dinner to boast about their presents.<\/p>\n

\u201cI built a sprawling mansion for Mom,\u201d Gerard said with a smug smile. \u201cIt\u2019s got ten bedrooms, a library, and even an indoor pool.\u201d<\/p>\n

Howard chuckled. \u201cThat\u2019s cute. I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who\u2019s always on call. She\u2019ll never have to drive herself again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Norman leaned back in his chair, his smile even bigger. \u201cAmateurs. I sent Mom a brown parrot trained for twelve years by monks. It knows the entire Bible. All she has to do is name a verse, and it will recite it perfectly.\u201d<\/p>\n

A week later, their mother sent thank-you notes.<\/p>\n

\u201cGerard,\u201d she wrote, \u201cthe house is lovely, but it\u2019s far too big. I only use one room, and I have to clean the entire place!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoward,\u201d she wrote, \u201cthe car is beautiful, but I don\u2019t go out much, and the driver has a temper worse than your father\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDearest Norman,\u201d she wrote, \u201cyou\u2019re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.\u201d<\/p>\n

Norman realized his \u201cbiblical\u201d bird had become dinner instead of delivering divine inspiration.<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

A woman goes to her boyfriend\u2019s parents\u2019 house for dinner<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A woman goes to her boyfriend\u2019s parents\u2019 house for dinner, feeling very nervous as it\u2019s her first time meeting them.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

They all sit down to a fine meal, but the woman soon starts to feel discomfort from her nerves and the broccoli casserole.<\/p>\n

With gas pains almost bringing tears to her eyes, she decides to discreetly relieve herself and lets out a dainty fart.<\/p>\n

Though not loud, everyone at the table hears it.<\/p>\n

Before she can be embarrassed, her boyfriend\u2019s father looks at the dog sleeping at her feet and sternly says, \u201cSkippy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Relieved, the woman smiles, thinking she\u2019s off the hook.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later, the discomfort returns.<\/p>\n

Without hesitation, she lets out a louder and longer fart.<\/p>\n

The father once again looks at the dog and yells, \u201cDammit Skippy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Feeling even more relieved, the woman smiles and thinks, \u201cYes!\u201d<\/p>\n

As the meal continues, the woman feels the gas building up again.<\/p>\n

This time, she doesn\u2019t even think about it and lets out a fart that rivals a train whistle.<\/p>\n

The father, now looking truly disgusted, shouts, \u201cDammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers who wanted to outshine each other with the most impressive gift for their mother\u2019s 90th birthday. They gathered at dinner to boast about their presents. \u201cI built a sprawling mansion for Mom,\u201d Gerard said with a smug smile. \u201cIt\u2019s got ten bedrooms, a library, and even an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5476","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5476"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5476\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5477,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5476\/revisions\/5477"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}