{"id":5462,"date":"2025-03-15T12:00:43","date_gmt":"2025-03-15T12:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5462"},"modified":"2025-03-15T12:00:43","modified_gmt":"2025-03-15T12:00:43","slug":"three-men-are-outside-heavens-gates-waiting-to-be-go-to-through-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5462","title":{"rendered":"Three men are outside Heaven\u2019s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven."},"content":{"rendered":"

Three men are outside Heaven\u2019s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven.<\/h2>\n

The angel at the gate tells them, \u201cDepending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner, your way across the bridge to Heaven will be decided.\u201d<\/p>\n

The first guy says, \u201cI was with my wife for 5 years and cheated thrice.\u201d<\/p>\n

The angel gives him an old model pick-up.<\/p>\n

The second guy says, \u201c11 years and only once.\u201d<\/p>\n

The angel grants him a Mercedes.<\/p>\n

The last man says, \u201c20 years and not once, we loved each other with all our hearts.\u201d<\/p>\n

The angel is duly impressed, and bestows upon him a gold edition Lamborghini.<\/p>\n

The man soon passes the other two men.<\/p>\n

Hours later the two men catch up to him at a diner. He\u2019s sitting alone at a table sobbing and muttering to himself.<\/p>\n

One of the men approaches him and says, \u201cI know we are dead but it could be much worse. Don\u2019t be upset!\u201d<\/p>\n

The guy looks up and says \u201cDon\u2019t be upset?!, 30 minutes ago I passed my wife, and she was riding a skateboard!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A woman had a problem with her closet door\u2014it fell every time a bus passed, so she called a repair man.<\/h2>\n
<\/div>\n

The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out whenever a bus passes by.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, I\u2019m going to see what\u2019s going on. Just close the door behind me,\u201d he says as he steps into the closet.<\/p>\n

At that time the husband comes home from work, opens the closet, and finds the repairman.<\/p>\n

Husband: \u201cWhat the hell are you doing here!\u201d<\/p>\n

Repairman:\u00a0\u201cWell, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

A wife was with her lover when she heard her husband\u2019s key in the door.<\/h2>\n

\u201cStay where you are,\u201d she told the panicked lover. \u201cHe\u2019s so drunk he won\u2019t even notice you\u2019re with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.<\/p>\n

He turned to his wife: \u201cHey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What\u2019s going on?!?\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u201cNonsense,\u201d said the wife. \u201cYou\u2019re so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

The husband climbed out of bed and counted.\u00a0\u201cOne, two, three, four. Oh ok, you were right.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Three men are outside Heaven\u2019s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, \u201cDepending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner, your way across the bridge to Heaven will be decided.\u201d The first guy says, \u201cI was with my wife for 5 years […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5462"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5462\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5463,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5462\/revisions\/5463"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}