{"id":5432,"date":"2025-03-14T06:00:30","date_gmt":"2025-03-14T06:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5432"},"modified":"2025-03-14T06:00:30","modified_gmt":"2025-03-14T06:00:30","slug":"a-sons-letter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5432","title":{"rendered":"A Son\u2019s Letter"},"content":{"rendered":"

A father passing by his son\u2019s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made and everything picked up.<\/h2>\n

Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, \u201cDad.\u201d With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cDear Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I\u2019m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not only the passion, Dad. She\u2019s pregnant. Stacy said that we would be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.<\/p>\n

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that Marijuana doesn\u2019t really hurt anyone. We\u2019ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the dr*g we want.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, we\u2019ll pray that science will find a cure for A.I.D.S so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry, Dad. I\u2019m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Love, your son, Joshua.<\/p>\n

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I\u2019m over at Jason\u2019s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school report that\u2019s on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.<\/h2>\n
<\/div>\n

They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. \u2018Well,\u2019 said the first one, \u2018I bought mom a huge house in Beverly Hills.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve beaten you both,\u2019 said the third. \u2018I bought her a miraculous parrot that can talk to her.\u2019<\/p>\n

A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u2018Gerald, the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, and I have to clean the entire house. Milton, the car is useless because I don\u2019t go anywhere; I\u2019m too old. But Robert, you know exactly what I like.\u00a0The chicken was delicious.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.<\/h2>\n

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

The son says, \u201cI did some schoolwork.\u201d<\/p>\n

The robot slaps the son.<\/p>\n

The son says, \u201cOk, Ok. I was at a friend\u2019s house watching movies.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad asks, \u201cWhat movie did you watch?\u201d<\/p>\n

Son says, \u201cToy Story.\u201d<\/p>\n

The robot slaps the son.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Son says, \u201cOk, Ok, we were watching a dirty movie.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad says, \u201cWhat? At your age I didn\u2019t even know what dirty movies were.\u201d<\/p>\n

The robot slaps the father.<\/p>\n

Mom laughs and says, \u201cWell, he certainly is your son.\u201d<\/p>\n

The robot slaps the mother.<\/p>\n

Robot for sale.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A father passing by his son\u2019s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made and everything picked up. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, \u201cDad.\u201d With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands\u2026 \u201cDear Dad. It is with great […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5432","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5432"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5432\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5433,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5432\/revisions\/5433"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}