{"id":5190,"date":"2025-03-03T09:30:11","date_gmt":"2025-03-03T09:30:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5190"},"modified":"2025-03-03T09:30:11","modified_gmt":"2025-03-03T09:30:11","slug":"two-delicate-blossoms-of-south","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5190","title":{"rendered":"Two delicate blossoms of South."},"content":{"rendered":"

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas,<\/h2>\n

were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, \u201cWhen my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Texan lady commented, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice?\u201d<\/p>\n

The lady from Mississippi continued, \u201cWhen my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, the Texas lady commented, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice?\u201d<\/p>\n

The first woman boasted, \u201cThen, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yet again, the Texas lady commented, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice?\u201d<\/p>\n

The first woman then asked her companion, \u201cWhat did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Texas lady replied, \u201cMy husband sent me to charm school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCharm school!\u201d the first woman cried. \u201cLand sakes, child, what on Earth for?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Texas lady responded, \u201cSo that instead of saying, \u2018Who gives a crap<\/strong>\u2018, I learned to say,\u00a0\u2018Well, isn\u2019t that nice?\u2019<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Intelligent Husband!<\/h2>\n
<\/div>\n

Wife is busy packing her clothes.<\/p>\n

Man: And where are you going?<\/p>\n

Wife: I\u2019m moving to my mother.<\/p>\n

Husband also starts packing.<\/p>\n

Wife: And where do you think your going?<\/p>\n

Husband: I\u2019m also moving to my mother.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Wife: And what about the kids?<\/p>\n

Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I\u2019m moving to my mother then I guess they must also move to their mother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands.<\/h2>\n

The first woman says, \u201cLast night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn\u2019t there!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u201cI know!\u201d the next woman says, \u201cLast night my husband said he was going to his brother\u2019s house, but when I called he wasn\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n

The third woman says, \u201cI always know where my husband is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cImpossible!\u201d both women exclaim, \u201cHe has you completely fooled!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no,\u201d says the woman. \u201cI\u2019m a widow.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, \u201cWhen my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.\u201d The Texan lady commented, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice?\u201d The lady from Mississippi continued, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5190"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5191,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5190\/revisions\/5191"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}