{"id":5133,"date":"2025-02-27T06:16:09","date_gmt":"2025-02-27T06:16:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5133"},"modified":"2025-02-27T06:16:09","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T06:16:09","slug":"a-71-year-old-man-is-having-a-drink-in-a-chicago-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5133","title":{"rendered":"A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar."},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><strong>A 71-year-old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar when an exceptionally gorgeous and s-e.xy young woman enters.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>She was so striking that the elderly man couldn\u2019t take his eyes away from her.<\/p>\n<p>The young woman noticed his overly attentive stare and walked directly toward him.<\/p>\n<p>Before he could apologize for being rude, the young woman said, \u201cI\u2019ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stunned, the man asked what the condition was.<\/p>\n<p>The young woman replied, \u201cYou have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket, and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n<p>He looked into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, \u201cPaint my house.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-56983 size-full td-animation-stack-type2-2\" src=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/sit.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/sit.jpg 800w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/sit-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/sit-768x402.jpg 768w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/sit-640x335.jpg 640w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/sit-681x357.jpg 681w\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"419\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><strong>An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The bartender asks, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old man looks at the bartender through teary eyes and between sobs says, \u201cI married a beautiful woman two days ago. She\u2019s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, and a meticulous housekeeper. She is also my best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, \u201cBut that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old man looks at the bartender and says, \u201cI can\u2019t remember where I live!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A 71-year-old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar when an exceptionally gorgeous and s-e.xy young woman enters. She was so striking that the elderly man couldn\u2019t take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could apologize for being rude, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5133"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5134,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133\/revisions\/5134"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}