{"id":5129,"date":"2025-02-27T06:12:46","date_gmt":"2025-02-27T06:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5129"},"modified":"2025-02-27T06:12:46","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T06:12:46","slug":"a-married-couple-is-driving-along-a-highway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5129","title":{"rendered":"A married couple is driving along a highway"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The husband is behind the wheel.<\/p>\n<p>His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. \u201cI know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The husband says nothing.<\/p>\n<p>He keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph.<\/p>\n<p>The wife speaks again. \u201cI don\u2019t want you to try to talk me out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She says, \u201cBecause I\u2019ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again the husband stays quiet but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph.<\/p>\n<p>She pushes her luck.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want a house.\u201d She says insistently.<\/p>\n<p>Up to 60 mph.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want the car, too.\u201d She continues.<\/p>\n<p>65mph.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd,\u201d she says, \u201cI\u2019ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, and the boat!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.<\/p>\n<p>This makes her nervous, so she asks him, \u201cIsn\u2019t there anything you want?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, I\u2019ve got everything I need, \u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, really,\u201d she inquires. \u201cSo what have you got?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe airbag!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>An old married couple went camping.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<div class=\"google-auto-placed ap_container\"><\/div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-67142 size-full td-animation-stack-type2-2\" src=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oldd.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oldd.jpg 800w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oldd-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oldd-768x402.jpg 768w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oldd-640x335.jpg 640w, https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oldd-681x357.jpg 681w\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"419\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><strong>An old married couple were going camping.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>They pitched their tent under the stars and fell asleep.<\/p>\n<p>In the middle of the night, the wife woke her husband and said, \u201cLook at the stars and tell me what you see.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The husband replied, \u201cI see millions and millions of stars.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The wife said, \u201cAnd what do you make of that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The husband replied, \u201cWell if there are millions of stars and even some of them have planets, it\u2019s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There was a slight pause before the wife said: \u201cNo honey, it means that somebody stole our tent.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LOL!!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The husband is behind the wheel. His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. \u201cI know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.\u201d The husband says nothing. He keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph. The wife speaks [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5129"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5130,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5129\/revisions\/5130"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}