{"id":5060,"date":"2025-02-20T05:12:23","date_gmt":"2025-02-20T05:12:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5060"},"modified":"2025-02-20T05:12:23","modified_gmt":"2025-02-20T05:12:23","slug":"an-old-man-and-his-wife-are-in-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5060","title":{"rendered":"An old man and his wife are in bed."},"content":{"rendered":"

An old man and his wife are in bed.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

After lying silently for a few minutes, the old man farts and says, \u201cSeven points.\u201d<\/p>\n

His wife rolls over and says, \u201cWhat in the heck are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

The old man answers, \u201cI\u2019m playing fart football!\u201d<\/p>\n

A few minutes later the wife farts and says, \u201cTouchdown! Tie score.\u201d<\/p>\n

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, \u201cTouchdown! I\u2019m winning 14 to 7!\u201d<\/p>\n

Furious about losing, the wife rips another fart and yells out, \u201cThe score is tied!\u201d<\/p>\n

The pressure is on and the old man refuses to lose. He strains incredibly hard, but instead of farting he accidentally poops the bed. The wife hears the noise and asks, \u201cWhat in the world was that noise?\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

The old man replies, \u201cThat\u2019s the whistle for halftime. Switch sides.\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

An Old Man And His Wife Lived Deep In The Hills.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and rarely saw many people.<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/div>\n

One day a peddler came to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy something.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell my wife isn\u2019t home, she\u2019s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,\u201d said the man.<\/p>\n

The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools, and gadgets, but the old man wasn\u2019t interested.<\/p>\n

The man spotted a mirror and said, \u201cWhat is that?<\/p>\n

Before the peddler could tell him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said, \u201cMy God, how did you get a picture of my Pappy?\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

The old man<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0was so happy that he traded his wife\u2019s best pitcher for it.<\/p>\n

The peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale.<\/p>\n

The old man was worried that the wife would be mad at him for trading her best pitcher, so he hid it in the barn behind some junk boxes.<\/p>\n

He would go out to the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the \u201cpicture\u201d and eventually, the wife got suspicious.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

One day she got fed up, and after he retired for the night, she went to the barn.<\/p>\n

She saw the mirror behind the boxes, picked it up, and said,
\n\u201cSo this is the hussy he\u2019s been foolin\u2019 around with!\u201d<\/p>\n

LOL!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An old man and his wife are in bed. After lying silently for a few minutes, the old man farts and says, \u201cSeven points.\u201d His wife rolls over and says, \u201cWhat in the heck are you talking about?\u201d The old man answers, \u201cI\u2019m playing fart football!\u201d A few minutes later the wife farts and says, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5060"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5060\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5061,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5060\/revisions\/5061"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}