{"id":5009,"date":"2025-02-17T10:59:05","date_gmt":"2025-02-17T10:59:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5009"},"modified":"2025-02-17T10:59:05","modified_gmt":"2025-02-17T10:59:05","slug":"our-joke-of-the-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=5009","title":{"rendered":"Our Joke of the Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, \u201cPlease be gentle, I\u2019m still a virgin.\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d said the puzzled groom. \u201cHow can that be if you\u2019ve been married five times?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.<\/p>\n<p>Husband 2 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.<br \/>\nHusband 3 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.<br \/>\nHusband 4 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.<\/p>\n<p>Husband 5 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was\u2026 God! I miss him!<\/p>\n<p>But now that I\u2019ve married you, I\u2019m really excited!&#8221; \u201cGood,\u201d said the lawyer, \u201cbut why?\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a lawyer!\u201d she replies. \u201cThis time I know I\u2019m going to get screwed.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, \u201cPlease be gentle, I\u2019m still a virgin.\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d said the puzzled groom. \u201cHow can that be if you\u2019ve been married five times?\u201d \u201cWell, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5009","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5009","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5009"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5009\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5010,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5009\/revisions\/5010"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}