A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him.<\/p>\n
He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine.<\/p>\n
On the way home, he finds a secluded spot and pulls over to the side of the road.<\/p>\n
They start necking and he\u2019s getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she\u2019s a virgin and wants to stay that way.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, okay,\u201d he says, \u201chow about a blow job?\u201d \u201cYuck!\u201d she screams.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not putting that thing in my mouth!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell then\u2026 how about a hand job?\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve never done that. What do I have to do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?\u201d She nods.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it\u2019s just like that.\u201d So, he pulls out his dick and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it.<\/p>\n
A few seconds later, his head snaps back against the headrest, his eyes roll up in his head, wax blows out of his ears, and he screams in pain.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d she cries out. \u201cTake your thumb off the end!!!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he finds a secluded spot and pulls over to the side of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4836"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4836\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4837,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4836\/revisions\/4837"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}