A married man was having an affair with his secretary.<\/p>\n
One afternoon, unable to resist their desires, they decided to sneak off to her house.<\/p>\n
After a few indulgent hours, they both dozed off, only to wake up around 8 p.m.<\/p>\n
Panicking, the man quickly got dressed and tried to come up with a plan. Turning to the woman, he said:
\n\u201cTake my shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.\u201d<\/p>\n
Although puzzled, she did as he asked. Once his shoes were sufficiently scuffed, he slipped them on, kissed her goodbye, and headed home.<\/p>\n
As soon as he walked through the door, his wife confronted him.
\n\u201cWhere have you been?\u201d she demanded.<\/p>\n
\u201cDarling,\u201d he said, trying to sound sincere, \u201cI won\u2019t lie to you. I\u2019ve been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep at her house and didn\u2019t wake up until 8.\u201d<\/p>\n
His wife looked him up and down, her gaze landing on his shoes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou liar!\u201d she snapped. \u201cYou\u2019ve been playing golf!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One afternoon, unable to resist their desires, they decided to sneak off to her house. After a few indulgent hours, they both dozed off, only to wake up around 8 p.m. Panicking, the man quickly got dressed and tried to come up with a plan. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4641"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4642,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4641\/revisions\/4642"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}