{"id":4635,"date":"2025-01-28T16:49:56","date_gmt":"2025-01-28T16:49:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4635"},"modified":"2025-01-28T16:49:56","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T16:49:56","slug":"a-husband-walks-into-a-police-station","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4635","title":{"rendered":"A Husband Walks into a Police Station"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A husband walked into the police station to file a “missing person” report for his wife.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband:<\/strong> “I can’t find my wife. She went shopping and hasn\u2019t returned.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “How tall is she?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “I… never really checked.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “Is she slim or healthy?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “Well, not exactly slim, but she\u2019s healthy.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “What\u2019s the color of her eyes?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “I\u2019ve never noticed.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “And her hair color?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “It changes with the seasons.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “What was she wearing?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “I\u2019m not sure. Maybe a dress or a suit.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “Was she driving?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “Yes.”<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “Can you tell me the make and color of the car?”<\/p>\n

Husband:<\/strong> “It\u2019s a black Audi A8 with a supercharged 3.0-litre V6 engine, 333 horsepower, an eight-speed Tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. It\u2019s got full LED headlights, and there’s a faint scratch on the front left door.”<\/p>\n

The husband then began to cry.<\/p>\n

Inspector:<\/strong> “Don\u2019t worry, sir. We\u2019ll find your car!”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A husband walked into the police station to file a “missing person” report for his wife. Husband: “I can’t find my wife. She went shopping and hasn\u2019t returned.” Inspector: “How tall is she?” Husband: “I… never really checked.” Inspector: “Is she slim or healthy?” Husband: “Well, not exactly slim, but she\u2019s healthy.” Inspector: “What\u2019s the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4635"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4636,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4635\/revisions\/4636"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}