{"id":4632,"date":"2025-01-28T14:52:06","date_gmt":"2025-01-28T14:52:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4632"},"modified":"2025-01-28T14:52:06","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T14:52:06","slug":"an-elderly-lady-walks-up-to-the-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4632","title":{"rendered":"An elderly lady walks up to the bar"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>An elderly lady walks up to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with just two drops of water.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As the bartender hands her the drink, she smiles and says, &#8220;I&#8217;m celebrating my 80th birthday today.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The bartender, feeling generous, says, &#8220;Well, happy birthday! This one&#8217;s on me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After finishing the drink, the woman on her right turns to her and says, &#8220;I&#8217;d love to buy you a drink too.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The old woman gratefully responds, &#8220;Thank you. Bartender, another Scotch with two drops of water.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Coming up,&#8221; says the bartender.<\/p>\n<p>Once she finishes that drink, the man on her left offers, &#8220;Let me buy you one as well.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The old woman smiles again, &#8220;Thank you. Another Scotch with two drops of water, please.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Coming right up,&#8221; says the bartender, now very curious.<\/p>\n<p>As he hands her the drink, he asks, &#8220;I have to know, why just two drops of water with your Scotch?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She chuckles and replies, <strong>&#8220;Well, dear, when you reach my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, on the other hand&#8230; that&#8217;s a different story!&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An elderly lady walks up to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with just two drops of water. As the bartender hands her the drink, she smiles and says, &#8220;I&#8217;m celebrating my 80th birthday today.&#8221; The bartender, feeling generous, says, &#8220;Well, happy birthday! This one&#8217;s on me.&#8221; After finishing the drink, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4632","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4632"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4632\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4633,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4632\/revisions\/4633"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}