{"id":4626,"date":"2025-01-28T14:48:47","date_gmt":"2025-01-28T14:48:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4626"},"modified":"2025-01-28T14:48:47","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T14:48:47","slug":"a-family-is-gathered-around-the-dinner-table","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4626","title":{"rendered":"A family is gathered around the dinner table"},"content":{"rendered":"

A family is gathered around the dinner table when the son turns to his father and asks,<\/strong> \u201cDad, how many kinds of boobs are there?\u201d<\/p>\n

The father, caught off guard, thinks for a moment and replies, \u201cWell, son, a woman goes through three phases.<\/p>\n

In her 20s, her breasts are like melons\u2014round and firm.<\/p>\n

In her 30s and 40s, they\u2019re like pears\u2014still nice, but hanging a bit.<\/p>\n

After 50, they\u2019re like onions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnions?\u201d the son asks, confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d the father says. \u201cYou see them, and they make you cry.\u201d<\/p>\n

This answer enrages the wife and daughter.<\/p>\n

The daughter, fuming, turns to her mother. \u201cMom, how many kinds of willies are there?\u201d<\/p>\n

The mother, smiling sweetly, responds, \u201cWell, dear, a man also goes through three phases.<\/p>\n

In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree\u2014mighty and hard.<\/p>\n

In his 30s and 40s, it\u2019s like a birch\u2014flexible but reliable.<\/p>\n

After 50, it\u2019s like a Christmas tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA Christmas tree?\u201d the daughter asks, puzzled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d the mother replies. \u201cDead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A family is gathered around the dinner table when the son turns to his father and asks, \u201cDad, how many kinds of boobs are there?\u201d The father, caught off guard, thinks for a moment and replies, \u201cWell, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons\u2014round and firm. In […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4626"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4627,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4626\/revisions\/4627"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}