{"id":4000,"date":"2024-11-24T07:39:38","date_gmt":"2024-11-24T07:39:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4000"},"modified":"2024-11-24T07:39:38","modified_gmt":"2024-11-24T07:39:38","slug":"a-man-and-a-woman-are-sleeping-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=4000","title":{"rendered":"A man and a woman are sleeping together"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A man and a woman are sleeping together<\/p>\n<p>When suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, \u201cIt\u2019s my husband, you have to leave!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something.<\/p>\n<p>He goes back to the house and says to the woman,<br \/>\n\u201cWait, I\u2019m your husband!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She replies giving him a dirty look,<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo why did you run?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-97935 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/878-1.png\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/878-1.png 800w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/878-1-768x402.png 768w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/878-1-640x335.png 640w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/878-1-681x357.png 681w\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"419\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, at about 3 A.M., she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you realize what time it is?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t get excited,\u201d he slurred. \u201cI\u2019m late because I bought something for the house.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Immediately, her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, \u201cWhat did you buy for the house, dear?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His answer was, \u201cA round of drinks!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-90256 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/909.png\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/909.png 1200w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/909-768x402.png 768w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/909-803x420.png 803w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/909-640x335.png 640w, https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/909-681x356.png 681w\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"628\" data-adbro-processed=\"true\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-8\"><ins class=\"adsbyadop_bb356adc-7649-48c4-8ebb-b7f30f974225\"><\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><\/ins><\/div>\n<p>A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.<\/p>\n<p>They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.<\/p>\n<p>The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy:<\/p>\n<p>The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.<\/p>\n<p>He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.<\/p>\n<p>He told his wife.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?\u201d<br \/>\nThe wife smiled sweetly and replied.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot this time!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man and a woman are sleeping together When suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, \u201cIt\u2019s my husband, you have to leave!\u201d The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4000"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4000\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4001,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4000\/revisions\/4001"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}