Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, I\u2019ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren\u2019t any ducks out there, I\u2019m not going hunting.\u201d<\/p>\n
So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, \u201cWell I\u2019m not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Earl says, \u201cYou\u2019re going to take the dog\u2019s barks for the truth?\u201d<\/p>\n
Earl doesn\u2019t believe it, so he goes to look for himself.<\/p>\n
When he gets back he says, \u201cI don\u2019t believe it-where did you get that dog\u2019? There really are only two ducks out there!\u201d<\/p>\n
Chester says, \u201cWell, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks.<\/p>\n
Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it\u2019s mouth and starts humping Earl\u2019s leg.<\/p>\n
Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says,<\/p>\n
\u201cThis dog is a fraud. I want my money back!\u201d<\/p>\n
The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in it\u2019s mouth and started humping his leg.<\/p>\n
The breeder says,<\/p>\n
Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, I\u2019ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren\u2019t any ducks out there, I\u2019m not going hunting.\u201d So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2724,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3931","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3931","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3931"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3931\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3932,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3931\/revisions\/3932"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2724"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3931"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3931"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3931"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}